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    LWADE1963   20,803
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i need support spark friends.


Saturday, January 04, 2014

my spark friends:

i feel like i can be honest with you and you will not judge me and berate me. i was having such positive thinking the past 2 days and even yesterday up until bed i did really well.

i have a rather personal medical problem right now that is too embarrassing to discuss. it is not deadly, just a problem that could have been prevented if i would have been smart 10 yrs ago., now i must suffer a little due to my stupidity. so, as i was going to bed, i could not quit thinking about this. i tossed and turned. i got up and did researched. then i tossed and turned some more. finally, after hubby went to sleep, i am ashamed to say that i snuck downstairs and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. then i made a brownie mix and ate half the batter, talk about making a problem worse. i woike up with gas. and my problem is still there

i guess this must be a lesson to me. i am not perfect. but i am willing to work through this problem i have with emotional eating. esp now.

i finally slept for 8 hours. my husband is a diabetic. during my research, i came across an article that said my immune system could be down which may be causing my other problem. signs of immune system being down would be diabetes. so, when i got up, i had my husband check my sugar level. i have never had problems with diabetes before. my number was 189 the first time. 169 the second time.. my husband says this is meaning i might have diabetes. luckily, i go to dr on monday.

youza. as if i need another problem. i totally blame myself and my love for bread and peanut butter. maybe this is wake up call i need. i do not want to go on another medicine

so now, it is really serious that i get my triglycerides and sugar under control, absolutley no bread, peanut butter, candy bar splurges or ice cream

thank you all for listening to my rant
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
THETURTLEBEAR 1/6/2014 10:34AM

    emoticon

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ADVENTURESEEKER 1/5/2014 3:04AM

    Every day is a day to start fresh. I can't normally keep trigger foods in my house, so I recommend removing problematic foods. That might help the late-night brownie batter binge.
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CANDYCANE2B 1/5/2014 2:35AM

    You can do this, Lisa! I'm pre-diabetic, so I do understand!!! I have to watch my carbs and keep them in check! Glad your dh caught it!!! Let us know how your Dr appt goes on Monday!!!

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GORIANA 1/5/2014 12:29AM

    emoticon emoticon every new day is a chance for a better day. Keep at it.

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LWADE1963 1/4/2014 9:17PM

    Wow. I love you guys!!

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AWESOMECAROL55 1/4/2014 7:14PM

    You know...we all have our moments..It's never too late to start over. I have certain foods which I absolutely cannot have in the house....they trigger eating for me. My advice...don't beat yourself up...get rid of that beloved peanut butter and bread (you'll live without it). Toss, the brownie mixes and start with some baby steps...small attainable goals that you can do with your health problems. You made a mistake...we all do it...it's over...you've learned your lesson.....go forward!!! You can do it!!

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Carol



Comment edited on: 1/4/2014 7:14:32 PM

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 1/4/2014 6:19PM

    emoticon You can do this, never be embarrassed or ashamed of your past. We have all made mistakes in our life and often have to deal with results of our behavior when we were young and foolish. I have been known to make dumb mistakes myself . I would never judge you because of something you did in your past. Right now you need support and to get your health problem taken care of. Hugs to you. OH and don.t worry too much about the binge last night. I am sure it won't cause lasting problems.

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ONEKIDSMOM 1/4/2014 6:14PM

    Saw your status in my friend feed and had to come over to see what's up. You've got a lot of really great support here, and I love the bits about "not being so hard on yourself". YOU are worth taking care of. You can be honest with your doctor. Here's hoping all goes well!

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CRAFTY1960 1/4/2014 6:03PM

    Good luck with your Dr appointment. I hear you on not wanting to take another med.

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LWADE1963 1/4/2014 5:26PM

    Wow. I love you guys!!

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WESTERNSAGE 1/4/2014 5:21PM

    None of us is ever happy when our bodies don't behave the way they did 20 or 30 or however many years ago. We simply can't eat the way we used to or keep up our energy with little sleep and/or no exercise. But as others have said, you need to forgive yourself and move on to a better day the next day - or even the next hour. A wonderful lady named Eda LeShan wrote a great book about getting older titled "It's Better To Be Over the Hill Than Under It." I like that saying. And if it takes another medication to help you stay on top of that hill, give thanks for the medication (attitude of gratitude) and move forward.

Good luck - and let us know how the doctor's appointment goes. If it's anything like my appointments you will have blood drawn for an A1C test and won't have results back for a couple days. Still, please keep us all posted. We care!

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BIGPAWSUP 1/4/2014 5:13PM

    We are here for you - rant and share away. We will always be here to listen.

You owned your binge so that's a start. Now start taking care of yourself, you've EARNED that. Breathe and just move forward from here. Do not let a binge define you.

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FAITH2BWELL 1/4/2014 4:56PM

    Im in agreement with what everyone has already said to you. I just want to say to you, That knowledge is power, Now that you know what the problem is/could be, Take that info and aply it. We all have something that tend to throw us off from doing what we need to do. We fall but we get back up. You can do this, we can do it. Let us know how you are doing after your visit with the Dr. Take care,

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SWANATOPIA 1/4/2014 4:40PM

    The hardest part of my journey was learning how to forgive myself and move on. Once I got that down, everything else fell into place!

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ARCHIMEDESII 1/4/2014 4:36PM

    You're being much too hard on yourself ! I give all new members and anyone who will listen to me one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

I'm a firm believer that stress is a neglected aspect of weight gain. If a person could reduce their stress, they'd automatically reduce their waistline.

So, one thing I would recommend is finding ways to reduce your stress that don't involve food. When you feel stressed out and want to turn to food, why not take a walk ? Walking is not only great cardiovascular exercise, it's a great way to reduce stress too. How about blogging or writing ? writing out your feelings can be very cathartic. Do you knit or sew ? craft type hobbies like that are also great ways to reduce stress.

Mostly, be kind to yourself as you would to others. No one is perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

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JANAYA2424 1/4/2014 4:06PM

    I am also an emotional eater.
Just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Hind sight is always 20/20, so unless you are psychic you are just like the rest of us; living our lives and sometimes not making the wisest choices. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes due to a lack of knowledge. Either way forgive yourself, take it one day at a time and start over as many times as you need to, just don't give up!
I have also been turning to SP when I'm upset about something. Reading blogs, success stories, motivational or inspirational articles, etc. It seems to be helping me stay away from the frigde. Hope that helps : )

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MAGGIEVAN 1/4/2014 3:14PM

    You can do it. Just make it a life other death situation (like it really is) and get on with it.

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JILLYBEAN25 1/4/2014 3:04PM

    With those of us who are emotional eaters, it helps to journal when we have an episode of bingeing. Maybe you could try doing something like for the next few weeks or month and see if you notice patterns. Sometimes having the problem look at you will help you to work toward a solution. And it doesn't have to be a written page of journal: what did you eat? what were you feeling when you ate it? what was the situation that made you feel that way? And bring it up with your doctor. Slip ups happen and they are absolutely going to happen. But, the slips ups don't define us or our journey. The way we work to fix ourselves, the way we work- proactively- to prevent future slip ups, does define us more. Add an extra 10 minutes of fitness to your routine today and keep moving forward.

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WINNIE1978 1/4/2014 2:51PM

    Your sugar level being high could have been because of the late night snack. Hopefully the doctor will give you more information on Monday.

Is there any way you can keep the trigger foods out of the house entirely, at least for a while? I tend to do better if I don't have the stuff that I really crave within reach.

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JAKENELL 1/4/2014 1:41PM

    Don't know why my message posted twice - Spark gremlins at work?
Sheila

Comment edited on: 1/4/2014 7:30:40 PM

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DEBBYFROMMT 1/4/2014 1:39PM

    OK, now you know. SparkPeople articles could be helpful! The more you know the more in control you can be! You are not alone with medical problems. I have high blood pressure even though I do everything I can, Doc finally put me on medication which is helping. Do everything you can, but don't feel ashamed to let you doc help you out if he can!

WE ARE ALL HERE WITH YOU!!!

Enough beating yourself up! Time to make better decisions! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

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JAKENELL 1/4/2014 1:39PM

    Yes, that number could mean that you have diabetes or are pre-diabetic.
It could also mean that you are fighting an infection somewhere in your body. My numbers ran extremely high when I had pneumonia but returned to normal (for me, being pre-diabetic) when the infection was gone.
We all did things when we were younger that we now regret and many of those things have returned to haunt us with health issues. Sadly, we can not change our past behaviors and choices, we can only move on and deal with the created issues in the best way possible. I know it's easier said than done, but punishing ourselves serves no purpose and only results in more negativity in our lives. I'm not going to say "move on from it" because you'll do that when you're ready. I am going to say focus on the person you are now and the person you want to be in your future.

Also - emotional eating is part of my life, too. I had a rough patch last night (it must be going around) and craved sweets to comfort myself - none in the house! I ended up cooking a pouch of instant mashed potatoes and eating the entire thing! Like you, my problem wasn't solved and new "tummy troubles" were created! When will we ever learn?

Always remember - your SparkFriends are here to offer a shoulder to lean (or cry) on.
Sheila emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/4/2014 1:40:28 PM

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WORKNPROGRESS49 1/4/2014 1:29PM

    emoticon emoticon Don't be too hard on yourself. Please let us know how your doctor's appointment goes on Monday.
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