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Sometimes saying "no" can be a good thing

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Thursday, January 02, 2014

Thanks to a link in the "At goal and maintaining" team, I came across the Refuse to Regain blog ( http://www.refusetoregain.com ) last night, and something that struck me quite strongly was how the author was encouraging me to say "no". "Refuse" is not a gentle word. It's tough and it's quite stubborn, and, in my mind at least, not the most positive of words. But, here the author was pointing out that after all the hard work of losing weight (think about it: the hours exercising, deciding to go out into the winter weather to jog rather than hiding under the comfort of the duvet, choosing to cook healthier food at home rather than simply ordering a pizza after a long day at work, learning how to be nurturing to myself and others in ways that don't involve tubs of ice-cream, basically always choosing the tougher option!!) I almost owe it to myself to be stubborn about regaining weight. I can be a stubborn three year old in the face of tempting chocolates, fish and chips and that loving Aunt with the plate full of cookies walking in my direction. I've worked hard, and I don't want those cookies to be the undoing of my early morning run in the freezing cold. It's not worth it!!

I hadn't thought about maintaining weight in terms of me protecting and honouring all the hard work I put in to losing weight. Sometimes we just forget what an achievement that is - it's worth refusing the extra cookie for!!

I've really been struggling for the last few weeks. I realise now that I just haven't been feeling like all the hard work that goes into achieving my goals is worth it. Perhaps, after two years of maintaining weight it gets harder to remember all the effort that went into it in the first place. I also wonder if I've forgotten how important it is to recognise that achievement. I used to reward myself every week with a little treat (that wasn't food) for simply sticking with my new lifestyle. Perhaps I need to start doing that again. Here I am attempting a giant step in my career and learning how to live in a different country. That was a decision I made because of my healthy lifestyle changes and learning about my self-worth. It's definitely worth stubbornly refusing to gain all the weight back again!!

So, I'll continue with renewed enthusiasm to say no to the things that will add inches to my hips, not because I'm wanting to lose more weight, but because of all the weight that I've already lost.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIEG68 1/23/2014 10:09AM

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 1/22/2014 12:50PM

  Great blog. Thank you for sharing!

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CRUISEBOUND2014 1/20/2014 6:43AM

    This is worth repeating and I am going to copy it and put it on my bulletin board as an awesome reminder

"I hadn't thought about maintaining weight in terms of me protecting and honouring all the hard work I put in to losing weight. Sometimes we just forget what an achievement that is - it's worth refusing the extra cookie for!! "

Thank you for sharing!

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DSJB9999 1/19/2014 12:54PM

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RENATA144 1/19/2014 11:50AM

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MRSRIGS1 1/18/2014 4:06PM

    emoticon and THANK you for reminding us this very important issue - - how HARD we've worked for our success's and living a healthy lifestyle! emoticon

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JUST_TRI_IT 1/17/2014 6:00PM

    I agree... there comes a point when the "external" reminders of what we accomplish slip into the memory banks. Re-reminding ourselves of the work that got us to whatever point we are at is so important.


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MJREIMERS 1/17/2014 7:06AM

    I love your insight and perspective! I totally agree and it really put a new meaning on the word maintenance, for me. THANK YOU!

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KAYOTIC 1/16/2014 9:31PM

    emoticon And a great reminder of why we do need to say "no" sometimes! Thanks!

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MOONCHILD8 1/16/2014 9:16PM

    You are so right! By saying no you put yourself first. If you do not put yourself first no one else will either. You need to put your health needs first. It will improve your life and others around you. Linda from bean town emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADRIENNIE 1/16/2014 3:44PM

    What an awesome blog for a crazy, stressful winter morning! Thanks!

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SUSIEMT 1/16/2014 3:28PM

    Good for you and your maintenance! Sometimes we just have to look at the before pictures to remember what it was like.

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AMARILYNH 1/16/2014 1:20PM

    Great blog! Thanks for the reminder - because I NEVER want to go there again!! There is a graphic that's gone around here on SparkPeople about 'Choose your Hard." The JOY I get from only having ONE size of clothing in my closet is well worth the HARD of eating right and exercising! Its all a matter of choices!

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KIMBERLY_Y 1/16/2014 12:56PM

    Thank you! You succinctly stated what we all go through as maintainers no matter how may years it has been. Congratulations on a thoughtful blog and on two years of maintenance. You have accomplished so many of your goals. Best wishes as you continue on your journey in health! emoticon

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HANSBRINK 1/16/2014 12:02PM

  I really like the perspective you've provided in your last paragraph.

Also, I too have trouble celebrating weekly triumphs. "Success is its own reward" doesn't fuel me with motivation for achieving more. I'll need to work on this. Thanks for your view point.

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JUSTYNA7 1/16/2014 11:13AM

    I love this. I think it is more than just getting to goal, it is about holding onto every incremental step forward we make. The temptations are out there. I liked the motivational article today on the main page about motivation disappearing because our old habits are old motivators too. We need to see it as a choice and "no" is a choice.

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AALLEY2 1/16/2014 11:09AM

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MOMMY445 1/16/2014 11:01AM

    so well said! thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day!

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CELIAMINER 1/16/2014 10:01AM

    Thank you, thank you! I am not far behind you with my two-year maintenance anniversary coming up in May, and I have also been struggling. Between your words and Nell's, I can see both a cause of my struggles (forgetting the pain) and a solution (bolster newcomers to be reminded of what it took to get where I am).

It's funny...one thing your blog brought to mind was my mother telling me God gives women the gift of forgetting the pain of childbirth. Without that gift, no woman would go through it more than once.
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NELLJONES 1/16/2014 8:59AM

    There is a saying in the 12 Step Programs that you have to "Keep It Green". If you forget where you came from, it is too easy to fall back there yourself. When going through a tough time, people are told to reach out and help newcomers; there is no better way to remind yourself of the pain and misery of where you came from, than to hear it from another person. Your success supports them, their pain reminds you, and both of you end up with Hope. People become WW leaders for that reason (it sure isn't the money). Going back every month or more to a WW meeting after you reach goal is a good reminder. People in TOPS and OA go to meetings for the rest of their lives, partly to pass is on and partly to keep it. The best way to keep it is to give it away.

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GABY1948 1/16/2014 7:37AM

    FANTASTIC blog! emoticon for sharing!

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WATERMELLEN 1/16/2014 6:40AM

    Great blog! Maintaining is harder than losing (at least for me) because there's less external recognition although the self-discipline required continues . . . and the need for it is not so immediately self-evident. We do have to REFUSE to regain. POW! (I'm a Previously Overweight Woman!)

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LCERVERA 1/16/2014 6:15AM

    Great blog! Thank you! emoticon

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MANDELOVICH 1/16/2014 5:44AM

    It's a present we give ourselves, to take the best care of ourselves we can and to focus on how great we feel when we do. Beautiful.

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ELLEKTRA 1/16/2014 5:41AM

    It's that hard work and dedication and just feeling better then ever that will never let me go back.
Keep it up, it's worth it, don't ever let anything change your mind about that.

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MAREE1953 1/16/2014 2:49AM

    I found that "refuse to regain" site helpful too. Your thoughts were a great insight and reminder! Thanks for sharing!!

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SLENDERELLA61 1/15/2014 10:21PM

    Great blog! We do need to remember and honor the effort it took to lose the weight as we embrace the lifestyle it takes to maintain the loss! Very well put. Thanks.

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GEMLADYONE 1/15/2014 10:17PM

    You are so right....now that I've reached my goal, people are now asking "well you're done now, right?" and I tell them, "NO I'm not done...I changed my lifestyle and I LIKE my new lifestyle and all it has given back to me, why would I change it?"

You worked hard and earned where you are....you DO need to protect it. emoticon emoticon

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BOOKAPHILE 1/15/2014 9:58PM

    Bravo! No one wants to have to go through all that work needlessly! No is an acceptable, and necessary, word.

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_LINDA 1/15/2014 9:44PM

    You are going into a new life, a new job and a new country with a great attitude and much fortitude and bravery! I admire your courage taking this huge step!! To not lose sight of your weight maintenance and how hard it was to get there is a great strategy to keep on track!
Wishing you all the best in this new phase of your life!
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SPARKLED146 1/4/2014 11:21AM

    emoticon Thanks!

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WORKNPROGRESS49 1/2/2014 10:59AM

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ROXYZMOM 1/2/2014 7:20AM

    Great blog! I love your three year old kid analogy! I am going to think of this blog as I go through the day.

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KANOE10 1/2/2014 7:09AM

    That was an excellent blog. You are right to focus on honoring all the hard work that went into losing weight and to honor that loss by maintaining it.

It is good to be stubborn and to refuse to regain that weight!


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KELLIEBEAN 1/2/2014 7:07AM

    I love the way you ended this... not because I want to loose more weight but because of all the weight I've already lost.

Maintenance is hard, it takes effort every day. Congratulations on maintaining for two years. That is a great accomplishment and worth protecting!

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JOANNA202 1/2/2014 5:03AM

    I do like the idea of acting like a stubborn 3 year old! I take some (probably slightly twisted) satisfaction in other people's frustration at trying to persuade me to have something I don't want/need.

I've been reading back through old blogs and find they really bring back the harsh realities of how difficult it was. Really helps to focus the mind on the hard work you don't want to lose.

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KRISZTA11 1/2/2014 5:00AM

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Thanks for sharing, this is a great reminder!
It is human nature to take the good we have for granted, however hard we worked to reach it...
I just needed to read this now!
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