I don't know how I managed NOT to do my year end reflections or New Resolutions and that's okay. I think in my mind, I wanted to move forward.
This past year was quite the blur actually as I'm sure this year will be. Somehow in it I got lost .. I don't know. I always had my eye on the prize but never the "umph" to do anything to get there. I recently skimmed a blog about "plateaus or self sabotage" and think for the most part that's what I've been doing. Just hangin' on to the 170s but not really doing anything major or uncomforatble to get out of it.
Strangely I'm not upset about it. Mind you there is the quips about "as long as you never give up" etc etc and yes, that's a part of it. I just feel like.....well, like the time I quit smoking. I must have quit ten times before I just ...quit. Same feeling today. I want to make and keep this streak...I want to honestly say in December of next year "I did it!!" and not "well, I tried, sort of"
Perhaps it's the New Year Hype and you know what? That's okay too. That just simply means there are more people aware of it this month. I just have to remember to HANG ON TO IT as the hype dies down.
In a nutshell: Reflections. Since joining Spark in 2009 I have lost 30 pounds. I went from obese to overweight........and have held there.
In 2009 I had quit smoking, moved to California, was having troubles with the hub and struggling to like me. I felt (and still do) like I was the biggest one in the room. When I received my stem cell and cataract removal ... to see me in the mirror was NOT what I had implanted in the brain for the previous ten years of non-sightedness. It was heartbreaking and I knew I had to do something about it.
By 2010 I had lost ten pounds...It was slow going and I was attempting a run with enormous amounts of shin splints, but I kept going. I didn't think I'd see a different but my face proved me wrong...I still didn't like what I was seeing and kept pressing. My weight fluctuated greatly in 2010 as I struggled with the post smoking, entering college weights.
In 2011 I was really struggling at home but made it a point to start taking care of me and the girls. I think it began paying off.
In 2012 & 2013, I kept pressing but "life" started getting in the way. I was learning to like myself more and perhaps this began the "plateau or self sabotage" method of just maintaining my overweight status. That's not to say I haven't been active or eating badly. I just haven't pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
My goal for 2014 is quite simple. It's not just "losing weight" or "getting into shape". It's more of a grey area I think. I want to be strong. I want to LOOK strong and continue loving myself. I want to press forward with what I've accomplished and as I've mentioned before I want to actually say "I did it"
So, in SIMPLEST terms I will finish the C25 (that' I've said I'd do since 2009)
I WILL finish Slim Series &
I WILL workout daily for at least one hour. That's right, not 10 minutes or 20. I'm beyond this or I should be.
I want to prepare for the princess run at Disneyland...actually next years resolutions should include a run a month. I think I attempted that last year.
There's going to be a lot of life in the way obstacles. My oldest moving to K.C., my Kate and her trips to Universities, my youngest in cheer, and hubs with this business. I get that. I will have to work WITH that, not around that.
Anyhow, enough rambling. Thank you Sparkies for hanging with me the past few years, through all the blogs, the loss of the dogs, the separations and reuniting of family. All my stories of the girls and the ups and downs of this weight journey. Thank you for always inspiring and believing.
You are what keep me going through the years.