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New Year's Eve.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I am depressed tonight, on New Year's Eve. Part of it is just my hormones...part of it is because I'm at a new high weight. 219 pounds. I gain weight every single time I get on the scale. Before I even weighed myself, I took a long, hot bath, and cried. It was as if I somehow new I was going to be at a new high weight. I have a goal to be 135-140 pounds. That means I need to lose 79-84 pounds. Losing 84 pounds is only sixteen pounds away from 100. I truly have no words. My mind is completely numb. My emotions are gone. I just feel nothing right now. Nothing but shock and disappointment. Over the past few minutes, I've gotten incredibly tired. I'm so tempted to just pull these covers up over my head and go to sleep.

I just have no words. I'm truly at a loss of what to say.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    My dear friend. I am so sorry you are down right now, when it is such a time of hope. The number DOESN'T matter. It tells you nothing. Now is when you must make some hard choices. You can continue to eat poorly and/or not move, or you can dig deep and take 1 small step forward. Planning your meals for a week, writing them down and giving yourself permission to eat ALL the calorie daily that your body needs. Sneak in a veggie. Put some lettuce on your sandwich. Have a couple of pickles. Just be sure to track it all. How many calories are you allowing yourself daily? Is that what YOU decided or is it the healthy number SPark chose for you? I know it sounds backwards, but you have to eat to lose. Let me be your conscience. Send me a message every day to tell me what is going on with you. Pat yourself on the back now and say There, There, my friend. Time to make small manageable changes 1 at a time. Would you rather lose 1 pound a week consistently or keep gaining? I know you are going to be able to do 1 thing for yourself today to restart your program. This is NOT a diet. Chose to eat any food you want. Just be sure to track it and keep your body satisfied.
    We are here together. We will be fine and we WILL succeed.
    You are worth every effort you put into this.

    Gini emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1481 days ago
    Please hang in there! We all struggle at times. Just take little steps and you will eventually get there. While I know it doesn't help, many people have been where you are and felt what you feel. You will succeed! Maybe try changing up a few things and see if that makes a difference. And most importantly, remember you have many people here to talk with and offer encouragement and support! emoticon
    1481 days ago
    don't give up. the average person looses about a pound a wk. so it will take time. good luck too u!!
    1481 days ago
    It's a new year, it's time for a new you! Don't give up! Are you tracking everything you are doing? eating? Are you drinking enough water?
    There has to be a reason for the gain, we just need to figure out what it is. No crying, just get up and smile and love yourself no matter what, you are worth it, and you will reach that goal when you are truly ready!
    1481 days ago
  • DELIA38961
    hang in there ...I know what youre going through I found that the bst thing to help me was to hide the scale for a month , continue to eat healthy and exercise , I started noticing my clothes were fitting better despite what the scale says look for other ways that show progress emoticon emoticon
    1481 days ago
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