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    FENWAYGIRL18    
 
 
It's hard to stay positive/sitting here crying

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Today got some bad news we'd already paid out close to 400 dollars for the truck to be fixed with some kind of leak in the gasket. We brought the truck back 4 times it was still leaking, today we found out there is a hairline fracture somewhere in the transmission.
So the guy said it would cost 2,400 for a rebuilt one that would come with a 3 yr guarantee, well we don't have that kind of money and asked if we could put down a good amount and make payments and he said no he doesn't do that anymore, because he's gotten screwed in the past. I don't understand how it took this guy 4 times to find the fracture or is he just saying it ? I don't even know we dont have the money to bring it else where.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I pray every single day for god to help us somehow, I'm watching my husband kill himself working all kinds of hours at his part time job and tomorrow we were suppose to go to the movies but now we can't because his regular work asked if he wanted to come in and he had to say yes. this poor man can't even get a day off.
The worst thing it's all my fault because I got sick, I got bit by a stupid tick and it really ruined our lives. We were never in debt, had money in the bank and now I can no longer work and barely can put the heat on and have to try and figure out how to pay peter , taking from paul.
I'm just sitting here like a baby crying because I thought 2014 might be better, I'm so sick of saying well maybe next year will be better and it's always worse.
I know our son is disappointed about not going to the movies, I know because I am and we did nothing during his winter vacation from school.
We were all looking forward to going out and spending time together, I'm so frustrated, disgusted and feel so bad that because of me getting sick it all lands on my poor husband.
Sometimes I think the best thing I could do for that man is just leave him, I don't think I was meant to be happy in this life..................
It's like I found something beautiful in this life (husband) made something magical (son) and me getting sick ruined it all.
When the guy said how much it would cost my husband said I just feel like crying, because he can't catch a break... he works so hard ... sometimes I wonder if there really is a god.
You watch on TV people killing other people and getting away with it, you see people cheating the system and getting away with it and then you see good people who go by the rules and they just keep getting scr#wed over.
I'm just so disgusted emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKINNYLG 1/3/2014 6:41PM

    Lots and lots of hugs. My favorite move is Meet The Robinsons (Disney Cartoon). Best line in the movie is "Keep moving forward" That's what I wish for you.

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KATRICK528 1/2/2014 4:49PM

    Hang in there. I know all to well about following rules and getting screwed over. Just hang in there and keep trying. Thats all you can really do. Maybe things can get better, you just need to use your will to get through it.

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NISSANGIRL 1/1/2014 12:33PM

    Hang in there girl, New Year and New start! sending hugs and prayers your way! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EILEEN828 1/1/2014 1:51AM

    When hard things happen they seem insurmountable, but they end up working their way out. Stay positive and be strong, it's your choice to do so. If you want to have faith in other people then you have to let them have faith in you too. Patience is a virtue for a reason, because it works! Chin up now, time to regroup and count your blessings. Hugs. emoticon emoticon

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CINDYSDAY 12/31/2013 11:22PM

    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I agree with everyone. Don't give up. you are special and there is a reason for this somewhere!

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MARYBETH4884 12/31/2013 6:33PM

    Seriously, if you left them that would break all your hearts!! Hang in there! Love will pull you all through this!! Things will work out, God does have a plan for you,trust in Him. Focus on the love of God and your family. Guilt, frustration and second guessing will only make you feel physically worse. You are in my prayers, now go tell your men how much they mean to you!! That will really be a blessing and a energy boost for your hubby!!

Comment edited on: 12/31/2013 6:35:02 PM

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HEALTHY4ME 12/31/2013 6:18PM

    First off it isn't your fault.... you didn't put the tick there you didn't say hey lets walk in this grass and hope a tic bites me. I know it feels like it is terrible and I have been there and probably will in the near future, but girl it isnt' your fault, Yes it would be different if you were able to work. I know exactly where you are coming from.

My hubby had to quit work at 47 cos of depression, now I had to quit at 55. We have no savings cos we never thought that he would stop work that soon and the savings we had are used. So I do understand.

Betting you all the money in the world that if you said to hubby and son, you would be better off without me, you would see what is important and know that it isn't true. Other than insurance money they would be no better off and what is that going to help, pay for your funeral... being morbid there but only cos it really wont help and then you would make 2 people very sad and hurt for them to think you didn't ink enough of yourself to want to be with them.
HUGS and try to be positive not sure how to tell you that but.... you know that somehow it will work out. Take care...

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 12/31/2013 5:58PM

    (((hugs))) I was thinking of you today as I was driving home. Now I know why. God was telling me to be praying. I'll obey.


More hugs. You are special. I've had the same kind of thoughts at one time or another. Please know you are not alone.

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JSTETSER 12/31/2013 5:07PM

    Hugs to you. emoticon
Better days are coming, you have to believe it!
This is certainly a tough way to start the New Year.
Please let us know when things turn around for you. I am praying for you today.
Jackie

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ALL4MYHEALTH 12/31/2013 4:40PM

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. I'm not a religious fanatic by any means, but if I know anything at all it's that there is a God and he is watching out for all of us. Just have faith and don't stop praying. I know it may seem hopeless at times, but there is always hope where there is faith. I pray that your situation gets better. It's not your fault that you're sick. I'm assuming from what you said about the tick that you have Lyme disease and I know how horrible and debilitating that disease can be (not personally but I know someone who has it). Don't blame yourself, sweetie. I don't know you but I'd be willing to listen if you need someone to vent to emoticon

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TACDGB 12/31/2013 4:39PM

    sending you ((((HUGS))))........Terri

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