Tuesday, December 31, 2013
A week ago I found last year's wrap-up and goals blog. And I attempted to write something. And days passed. Concrete goals work for me. I love checklists, numbers, charts, and my sticker workout calendar. I met many many 2013 goals. I ran another marathon, I got the 1:49 HM that I'd been chasing for over 2 years, I completed an Olympic distance triathlon in the small town my mom grew up in. Cousins and aunts cheered my dad and me on. A major fitness highlight of the year.
So why was I struggling to put in print my goals for 2014? That's not like me.
Yesterday I took my kids to an obstacle course at the Y. It was a special event promoting family fitness. My daughter ran right in, but my son needs a little more encouragement. I picked him up and went over to the area where hula hoops were taped to the ground. I held him and jumped around. We giggled and hugged and nose nuzzled. My daughter saw us and chased after us and we all hopped around together some more. Then they both tore off around the gym like young children should.
30 minutes later a man approached me and said he was from the local paper. He took a picture of us and wanted to use it. When he showed me the candid shot, my immediate reactions was, "I look huge!" And as I gave him the spellings of our names with a fake smile on my face, all these ugly, negative thoughts raced through my head.
Is that how I really look in these leggings?! My chest looks huge! Uggg, my thighs are so big.
No. no no no no no. That is not what the picture shows. It shows a happy mother laughing with her healthy children. It is a picture of quality time. It is a picture of fun, physical activity inside when it is -30 degrees outside. I know what my husband would say if he saw it. He'd see the beauty and the joy.
That picture is not about my thighs.
My goal for 2014 is to be kind to myself. Think good things. And maybe that's too abstract and not SMART goal enough. But I know that's OK because the other goals will come. My race calendar is loosely mapped out. Fingers crossed that if Chicago goes with a lottery this year, that we get in. Time goals will be established. Challenges will come. And I'll love it all.
I'll put the stickers on my calendar. I'll over analyze race calculators, I'll make charts and graphs of my training plans. I'll actually do speedwork! I will stick with my ST. And throughout it all, I will see the beauty and happiness and tickle monster crazy mama that my kids and my husband see.
Happy New Year Spark!