Reflections on 2013
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
So, today is New Year's Eve. Wow, 2013 went fast! It's been a pretty good year for me overall. Family is happy and healthy, job is going well, and I've learned some things about myself.
Weight.....ah, the weight I've battled since I was 5. That has been an adventure indeed. I just reviewed the calendar I use to keep track of my weight and exercise minutes. I weigh 16 pounds more than I did last New Year's Eve. Most of the year I've hovered around that Dec 31, 2012 weight, until about September, when it started to climb.
What I've learned is not about the numbers on the scale. I spent most of 2013 trying to "get away with" eating more food than I need. I ate "off program" frequently. WHEEE!!!! Like a little kid doing something their parents don't know about. That's exactly the feeling. That's why the secret eating I realized I do is so fun at the time. I'm getting away with something. I'm off plan.
In the past couple of weeks I looked at what it is, exactly, I am actually getting away with by going off plan. Couldn't find a thing except the joy of breaking the rules. I've gotten away from the clothes in my closet, that's for sure. They do not fit, and if they do, they don't fit the way I want them to.
Mostly I'm a rule follower, so breaking rules is a heady thing. At least it used to be. I've never broken serious rules. Never robbed any person place, never harmed anything, at least not intentionally or enough to recall. I don't break rules that will hurt someone else, just ones that will hurt me, apparently.
Hmmm I deserve to be safe from harm from myself, too!
I've realized it doesn't matter which program I'm on, or even if I'm on a program. It's just food and it all counts whether I track it or not or eat it in front of people or not. If I eat it, it counts! For most people that's not a new thing, and it's not like I didn't know that fact myself. Knowing something is a fact is one thing. GETTING it is another. Follow a plan, don't follow a plan...it really is irrelevant. Your body just takes in the food you give it and does what it does. The results are just data.
I feel like I get it now. And, I believe I will achieve my goal of getting to a weight at which I feel good in every way.
Happy New Year!