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Happy Everything To My Female Friends

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy Everything To My Female Friends

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an oestrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,
Happy Everything to you and especially a Happy, Healthy New Year.

Save the Earth;

it's the only planet with chocolate
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Thanks Susie for this one
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FISHINGLADY66 1/1/2014 10:01PM

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ARTJAC 1/1/2014 12:51AM

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OPALMOON 1/1/2014 12:24AM

    Hi Sandra,

Thanks for sharing this poem! If only we could all be Santa!! Sending my good wishes to you for the New Year and 2014 too!

Hugs and blessings, Nattacia

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1CRAZYDOG 12/31/2013 9:19PM

  Chocolate . . . it's a food group!

Happy New Year!!

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PHOENIX1949 12/31/2013 7:01PM


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TATTER3 12/31/2013 3:51PM

    I want chocolate...I will save the earth!

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SHERYLP461 12/31/2013 8:34AM

    Love the poem, thanks

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GOANNA2 12/31/2013 7:02AM

    What a lovely poem Sandra.
Have a Happy and Healthy New Year.
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ILOVEROSES 12/31/2013 6:38AM

    Happy New Year! emoticon emoticon

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RDEE22 12/31/2013 5:49AM

    Lovely Poem! Happy Birthday Millymouse emoticon emoticon

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EMMABE1 12/31/2013 3:51AM

    Very good!!
"It's the only planet with chocolate" someone definately has their priorities right!! emoticon

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