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Inbetweeners.....

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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I was doing some reading tonight about body image and self acceptance. There were some things that really hit me and really provoked some deep introspection. I realized that for all that I have done, I am ashamed of what I look like. You see, I belong to a very unique group of people. For a lack of better terms I will call this special group "in-betweeners". We are not couch potatoes, neither are we at goal weight. Some of us (like me) have accomplished some pretty amazing things yet, to look at us, you would never know it. Some of us are stuck on an everlasting plateau. Some of us could probably teach a fitness class. Some of us have been at this long enough that we can tell others what it takes to endure because we ourselves have survived the myriad of pitfalls that have derailed so many others and we are still standing.

Without apology, I say we "in-betweeners" are an elite bunch.

I also say that we "In-betweeners" are also a frustrated bunch. We are the ones that walk into a doctors office where the physician is unaware of our past, and after we get our results back, get suggestions of things we can do to get off the couch... Maybe start a basic walking program... Your results are good but .... Oh, you mean my belly roll that I still have....

Hmmmmm should I tell him about my 70.3? Nah.... Unworthy....

Most of us in-betweeners live behind Clark Kent glasses. We know who we are and what we are capable of yet we are casually dismissed by those who are unaware of our secret identities.

I feel that way now. I just obtained a running coach certification and am actively working on completing the ACE Personal Trainers Certification. Chances are pretty good that I will probably certify before the end of '14. When it comes to training, I am no novice. My race history....'nuff said. Yet I find myself feeling like I need to apologize or justify my appearance before any serious face to face conversation about fitness. If that fails, I reach for my secret weapon.... You know what I'm talking about.....

The before picture....

Like some secret agent, I have to whip out my Acme, super duper, Cracker Jack, weight loss superhero ID badge and let you verify my credentials before any credible conversations can ensue.

I think I am not the only one who feels this way.

I am not bitter or angry in any way... Just keenly aware of my status as an inbetweener.

Deep down I have felt a personal calling to help people who are where I was.... Morbidly obese and in real need of a friend who will help them believe that they too can reclaim their life. Never mind the six pack, let's just start with climbing stairs or fitting into a booth at a local establishment.

So I pose a question, at what point does a person become magically qualified to care? Is it when we reach the media driven image of what a trainer should look like? Is obtained when we reach normal.... Whatever that is.... Where is that finish line at?

I digress.

We Inbetweeners are truly survivors. I can't post the link right now while tapping this out on my iPhone but I will later because it is worthy of substantiation. According to the National Institute of Health only about 20% of all "dieters" succeed at losing 10% of their body weight and keep it off for a year or longer. The implied meaning is that there is about an 80% failure rate. That isn't me, that's the geeks in the white smocks paid to crunch data and spit out statistics.

I have lost and kept off about 30% of my body weight.

My belly roll does not negate my success.

I repeat myself here, If you are an inbetweener, you are survivor with a unique set of skills that you have earned on the field of battle. Wear your "medals" proudly, do not hang your head because you are stuck or do not meet societies version of success. Most of us will never be paraded across a stage or be featured in a TV spot but we may yet fill the most important role of all. We serve as an example to those who know us and are living proof that changing your life is not a waste of time or a fruitless endeavor.

Hope is the greatest gift of all. Inbetweeners I call on you to stand your ground and not give in to frustration, you may be the only example of hope that some people will ever have.

Ok... I feel better now. I'm done encouraging myself.

You see this blog was written to me, but there are so many here like me, that while encouraging myself, I can also encourage others. It all comes around and I too need all the help I can get.

Let's be strong for hope is a precious commodity.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHOENIX43 1/9/2014 9:58AM

    One of my favorite inbetweener moments was lining up before a Boot Camp class and having the instructor make it a point to show me all the modified exercises (I was by far the largest/oldest female in the class).
Then class began. I crushed it. I didn't do a single modified exercise. I did MORE than she asked. It was a cakewalk compared to the things my trainer and I did on a regular basis.
Afterwards, the instructor (and several others in the class) were asking me what type of training I was doing to be so fit! I went from the heavy-middle-aged woman to wonder woman. emoticon



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CORNERKICK 1/8/2014 1:43AM

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SWANATOPIA 1/6/2014 8:51PM

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2ABBYNORMAL 1/6/2014 2:05PM

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SMILESHINE81 1/6/2014 10:31AM

    I needed to read this today. Thank you!!

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TIFALVA 1/5/2014 8:00PM

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GRLTAZ 1/4/2014 8:13PM

    Not currently at the in-betweener stage but I was once. Thank you for reminding me how strong I am and of what I am capable of. Love the clark kent line. TC

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MISSB8604 1/4/2014 7:49PM

    I can't thank you enough for this because I too am an "inbetweener" and at times become beyond frustrated.

You rock.

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EFFRAYECHILDE 1/4/2014 3:53PM

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SWEETNEENI 1/4/2014 2:35AM

    This Inbetweener threw the towel in after treading water for almost a year and gained over half of what I lost back. emoticon
Hittin' the reset button. emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 1/3/2014 11:24PM

  I would guess there are more people inbetween than anywhere else. I guess it could be frustrating, because you've come so darn far.

But you don't quit, or at least stay put long ( I mean getting off track. You have stayed on target so long. Maybe that's what you should count, not how far you have to go. I do think more are liekely to listen, because it DIDN"T come easy, or took so long... don't you think??? emoticon

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JURORI 1/3/2014 10:19PM

    Yes! This is a post I needed to read. I've been about 10-15 pounds overweight for the last couple of years and go between it being "good enough" to "stop being stuck" in my head. People who meet me now tell me they "just can't picture [me] being a big girl", but I remember being bigger, so I feel like I'm lying to them in a way for being fitter but not FIT.

It's encouraging to read about other people who know exactly what it's like.

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SUPERDAD55 1/2/2014 11:03PM

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RACEWELLWON 1/2/2014 9:09PM

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JCEDIT89 1/2/2014 9:01PM

    OMG! This is one of the best blogs I have ever read in my 6+ years on SP. emoticon Absolutely emoticon Thank you for saying what every in-betweener feels! emoticon

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RENATA144 1/2/2014 7:51PM

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RISAMEANSLAUGH 1/2/2014 7:40PM

    Dear Mr Victory,

Thank you so much for this blog! It helped me think things through and have a bit more perspective about myself as well as the self acceptance I often wish for. I've even saved this post on my desktop to encourage myself when I feel "inbetween".

Again, these are some awesome words to live by! You've encouraged me to go further and try yet again!

Keep up the good work! All the best,
sincerely,
Riisa emoticon

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CATSNKT 1/2/2014 7:05PM

    Self acceptance is a wonderful thing.

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THOMS1 1/2/2014 4:09PM

    emoticon from one in-betweener to another! emoticon

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AMCAN262 1/2/2014 3:59PM

  Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. It's amazing how you spoke from your heart and resonated MY feelings. It's like we are in this together :) keep up the fantastic work.


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RUDITUDI2000 1/2/2014 2:55PM

    Thanks for taking the time to encourage yourself and us in the process! This is excellent! emoticon emoticon

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SPEEDY143 1/2/2014 2:47PM

    "Inbetweeners" United emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRESBESS 1/2/2014 2:11PM

    emoticon
Excellent blog that is so beneficial to many. I must also say that I am very impressed that you pecked all of this out from your iPhone. You're good man...
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MARETIDE 1/2/2014 1:02PM

    Thank you for this. I really needed to hear that.

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MAMAWANTSTORUN 1/2/2014 12:43PM

    Thank you for this post!

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MJEFFERSON23 1/2/2014 12:07PM

  I feel like an inbetweener, too!

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MOMMINATOR 1/2/2014 12:07PM

    Thanks, Bob. I hope you encouraged yourself. You certainly encouraged me. I stuggle with this same issue, I am sure many others do as well.

Happy New Year, my friend!
Keep on keeping on!



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WEDDWT 1/2/2014 11:59AM

    Just as there is a space inbetween two words, are you identifying yourself with that space as you say you are an inbetweener? Some may say it is 'just' a space, but if it wasn't there wewouldhavetoreadlikethis! You wrote a great blog and expressed yourself with clarity and emotion. You are a word, On2Victory, an important word, and not spacey at all.
The questions you posed:"at what point does a person become magically qualified? where is the finish line"? You may have already crossed the finish line, and it would be nice if magic were involved. Your third sentence holds an answer."I realized that for all that I have done, I am ashamed of what I look like." Shame doesn't speak to what we do, it speaks to who we are. There are things you can do to chip away at that shame. Deep introspection, self-acceptance. Love. It's worth the work.
Hopeful 4u

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GALINAZ 1/2/2014 11:44AM

    Thank you for summing up so beautifully what has been rattling around in my head!

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POLYANNA2 1/2/2014 11:33AM

    What an amazing blog! I lost 50 lb and have kept it off for 2 years and feeling ashamed because I haven't lost another 50. I have resolved to lose that other 50 this year, and now I will do it with pride, for I'm an in-betweener, part of this elite group. Your words resonate with me and you have given me a whole new outlook. Thank you!
Wishing you every success in obtaining your certification. I know you will be a phenomenal personal trainer.

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JAOTAO 1/2/2014 11:27AM

    Thank you for your post! Well said - it sure helped me today ... So many have not witnessed my struggles, my journey to get healthy. I applaud your goals and your desire to help. I say start where you are. You will attract people who want to hear what you have to say. The best trainers and coaches are those who are survivors and learned by experience. Congrats to you!

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IOWAGRAMMA 1/2/2014 10:53AM

    Amen!! emoticon

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UWPALUM 1/2/2014 10:45AM

    I am proud to be an "in-betweener"

Thanks for the inspiration!

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ESILBO 1/2/2014 10:29AM

    emoticon emoticon I NEEDED THAT
LOVE
LISE

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ANNROW0354 1/2/2014 10:23AM

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AGGIELIZ 1/2/2014 10:06AM

    Amazing and helpful blog. I've never looked at where I am at now as a stage to be proud of (I've lost 26 pounds so far), but more as a road on my way to "acceptable". Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 1/2/2014 9:44AM

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CAROLCRC 1/2/2014 9:38AM

    Loved the blog. I've twice had doctors suggest I start a walking program (I run marathons) and another that I modify my BP meds if I'm doing a long run of over 15 minutes.... (had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at that one!)

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IMAGINE46 1/2/2014 9:19AM

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TRYINGHARD54 1/2/2014 5:49AM

    this is so true... emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 1/2/2014 2:09AM

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CERULEANTEAR 1/2/2014 1:53AM

    Let's hear it for the inbetweeners! We are all working to be healthy and that alone deserves respect. emoticon emoticon

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JAMER123 1/2/2014 12:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Another great blog!! Keep them coming!

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KKLENNERT809 1/1/2014 10:46PM

    You are an inspiration and keep writing your blogs!! It helps to get things out. emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 1/1/2014 10:43PM

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ROCKYCPA 1/1/2014 10:41PM

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SIMONEKP 1/1/2014 10:30PM

    I hear you.

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JPONCIN 1/1/2014 9:17PM

    Wow great blog! I guess I would call myself an in-betweener too then. Thank you for the encouragement! :)

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IAMAGEMLOVER 1/1/2014 8:50PM

    Today is 1 year that I have maintained my weight. I went from 248 pounds to 125 and have kept it off for 1 year. Maintenance in my honest opinion is tougher than weight loss. It is a constant balancing act. emoticon for such a great blog. I needed to read this today.

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GOOSIEMOON 1/1/2014 8:50PM

    Thanks for your thought-provoking, insightful blogs. They inspire me every time.

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