Monday, December 30, 2013
Accomplish blog and jokes for Monday
My affirmation for the day:
1., God, you are about to change my life for the better.
2. I makes people laugh.,.
3. I am becoming a smarter person everyday.
4. I am able to do strength training again..
5. I am becoming more optimist everyday.
I am today grateful for:
1 Christmas holidays!
2 \ Today I am grateful for modern medicine that helping me and mom be less anxious andp depress
3 not getting a lot of snow
4. my sis pup scotzy,
5 Family, friends & SparkPeople
Positive events of today:
1 morning¡XI was able to setup two appointment one for my counselor and for my psyschologis
2 afternoon ¡V did my first full day of work since coming back from sick leave
3 evening ¡Vgot in a 40 min workout and nice dinner at my sis
OKAY NOW FOR THE JOKES hopefully they funny
Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub. Paddy says to Seamus, 'What a beautiful n
ight, look at the moon.'
Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, 'You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun.' Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.
'Sir, could you please help settle our argument?
Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?' The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said,
'Sorry, I don't live around here.'
A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, 'Ma' am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.' The woman thinks to herself, 'Oh No, not my brother... he's an idiot!' She asks the doctor, 'Well, what's the girl's name?' Denise.'
'Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?'
Examples of Murphy's Law
„h Your lost needle will be found by your husband when he is walking around barefoot.
„h The worst pupil in any class will be a school governor's son.
„h Uniforms only come in two sizes, too large and too small.
„h Vital documents that were posted with no errors, will develop errors in the mail.
„h The other queue always moves faster.
„h In order to get a bank loan, you must first prove that you don't need the money.
„h The classic example of Murphy's law: If you drop a piece of toast it always falls buttered side down