Got on the scale for the first time in months...
Sunday, December 29, 2013
How many times have you said to yourself, "This time will be different. I will be successful."? I can't even tell you how many times I have. When I had my son (9 years ago), when I was getting married (5 years ago), when my son started school and then the second one came along, when I was turning 30, then when I started nursing school, now, well, I'm not saying it. I just can't. I have been on a long SP break which I feel now was a mistake. Because I lost not weight, but motivation.
This is a pretty common thing at the the beginning of a fresh year, people wanting to change, to lose weight, to quit the unhealthy thing holding them back. I don't want to be lumped in with the unsuccessful resolution makers. I want to succeed so badly. I am sick and tired (literally) of being in pain, always pissed off, and never having any energy to do what I want to. I just was out of breath unloading the dishwasher! I used to run five miles everyday and eat healthy and drink only water. Where did I go?! How do I keep up this motivation? I can make a million excuses but the mirror doesn't lie.
So what do I do? I must carve out time for the gym and somehow budget in healthier alternatives. I have very little support. My husband is amazing but thinks there is nothing at all wrong with me. He knows I love chocolates and Starbucks and indulges that. How do I go from only eating sugary carbs to being a health monster? Grrr!
I wish I could slap myself and wake up for good. I hope and pray I can make healthier choices especially since I am a nurse and should set an example but I need help. Lots of it.