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Sometimes I Lie...

Saturday, December 28, 2013

I take pride in being honest. I value honesty above many other character traits. I admire people who admit their mistakes rather than lying to cover them up. But sometimes I lie, to myself or to DH...
- when I get up at night and eat something that I shouldn't
- when I sneak food that I've asked DH to keep downstairs, or in his office, so I won't see it
- when I buy a bar on my way through the grocery check-out and eat it on the way home
- when I shred the bag from a bag of chips instead of putting it in the garbage
- when I "sample" things I'm cooking

These habits have developed over many years, and breaking them is NOT easy. I'm working hard to be more honest about what, how much, and when I eat. I'm tracking very honestly, and trying hard to stay away from those foods that tempt me the most (mainly salty, crunchy things).

This year I didn't make nuts & bolts... but we were given 3 tins of them! DH put 2 of them away safely... the 3rd, which I didn't tell him about, I ate last night when I couldn't sleep. I'm not proud of this. But if I'm going to be successful in breaking this habit, I have to admit my mistake, and learn from it.

I've included my binge in my daily tracking. I'm drinking extra water today to counter-act the sodium. I did 25 minutes of boot camp (an extra day), and will walk on the treadmill for 90 minutes tonight.

Can I promise that I'll never do it again? NO... but I will try to learn from this experience.

Thanks for reading,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    I have been in that situation...sometimes worse than others. I think I will always struggle with food temptations. I imagine a lot of us on this site struggle often.
    emoticon emoticon

    1479 days ago
    I really empathize with your situation. I have a bad habit of not wanting to track or acknowledge when I eat improperly. This year I did not bake cookies -- I made roasted spiced nuts instead as gifts for friends and neighbors. I loved them and I probably overate, but they weren't as nutritionally empty as the cookies! I think the way you handled this is very wise. emoticon
    1480 days ago
    Something about being up in the middle of the night makes it so easy to give in to temptation. The day is over, the next day hasn't started...

    I don't know about you, but I think my shame about eating came from childhood, when my mother tried to "help" by watching every bite I took and hounding me. So I became a sneak. For many years I couldn't be alone in a kitchen, any kitchen anywhere, without sneaking something. It seems like I'm over it now, and I think it's because my husband has made me very comfortable about my weight and eating. He's not that heavy but could stand to lose 30 pounds, and doesn't have great portion control. I think I'd be uncomfortable married to a thin man. So the answer- dump Peter for a fat guy!!!!!

    1482 days ago
  • MARUKI52
    I've been there but mostly I've kicked the habit but don't ask me how. Sometimes I fall into the trap again but that is a lot more rare these days. I'm far from perfect and never will be but I've learnt to forgive myself and move on.
    1483 days ago
    emoticon Right there with you! Thank you for sharing! So many of us do the same thing! It's good for me to know I am not the only one. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1483 days ago
    There is another way to deal with this Gail!
    Instead of keeping forbidden food off your "menu" totally add a small amount in as a snack either daily or weekly.
    One small "reward" portion will stop the guilty feeling and as you will have included it in your calorie range you'll feel SOOOO virtuous emoticon

    It worked for me....and I've been maintaining since March 2008! emoticon
    1483 days ago
    I lie to myself at times, too - thanks for showing that it's ok to admit it!!!! Hiding things was a way of life for me for many years after being raised to feel guilty about everything!!! It's such a relief to just accept myself, flaws & all, & move forward!!! Sending you a hug!!! :D
    1483 days ago
    Oh geee, you must be human!!!!!. Well, you're in good company and you've come to the right place. No condemnation here. We all have our moments.

    It's difficult to unload all the programming 'baggage' we've collected over the years . . . but together we can do it.

    Remember, don't look back . . . you're not going that direction.
    We can do this!

    Success = one good decision following another one.
    1483 days ago
    Hi Gail.........
    I am so glad that you shared this blog with us. I haven't known you for very long, but what I have read in your blogs has led me to believe that you are "almost perfect". You eat so well and you exercise on a daily basis and even managed to stay on track during your vacations. I had you up on such a pedestal that I felt I would NEVER measure up. Now I have read that you are so VERY HUMAN!!!!! You, like me, have the occasional binge that NO ONE knows about. And, I am so sorry, but I laughed out loud when I read that you shredded your potato chip bag instead of throwing it in the garbage. I used to take my Peanut M&Ms bag to school with me to throw away in the garbage there. I emoticon the honestly flawed you..........and I really don't like the word flawed because it is too negative. I should say, I emoticon the honestly human you.
    1483 days ago
    I also value honesty but (come to think of it) I lie about what I eat and dont eat sometimes too. I will join you in trying to be more honest with what I eat as well. emoticon emoticon
    1483 days ago
    Hey Gail,
    I sure hope you don't think you are alone...
    It has been a few years since I last made 'Nuts & Bolts'. Not that people don't like them... it is that they like them too much and don't want to like them that much.. My kids asked me not to make them for them for just that reason... I don't make them for me.... for just that reason. AND, yes, I laughed right out loud when I read the part about not sharing (not telling DH about batch #3) and secretly chowing down the whole batch. What a huge guilt trip you put yourself on... You didn't really eat in secret, well you did eat in secret, but then you couldn't keep the secret, so you told us, and now it isn't a secret any more.

    Now you know, when you have a secret stash, it will come back to haunt you. I have found if I calculate the calories in a measured portion... I tend to lose my appetite for that tasty not-so-good-for-me delectable snack. It also works for a meal I think I want to cheat with... when I think of what it costs, calorie wise, I tend to opt for something more filling and healthier for me and in my calorie budget.. BUT not always, sometimes nothing will do but that decadent pizza or dessert or just plain treat.

    My really big splurge this holiday was a half gallon of Eggnog, the full body, full calorie truly non-healthy version. I did not share it with anyone, not that anyone wanted to share it with me. I decided that, if I were going to have the eggnog I should go all the way. I know that the healthier versions leave me feeling cheated. They just do not fulfill my craving in any way. I had one glass per day, feeling very decadent each and every time. It was worth it. My scales say I haven't varied more than a pound (so far) over the holidays so I guess I did okay.
    Oops, this turned into a mini (?) blog... maybe I should keep part of it and post it as my blog for today... it would be worth 3 points... We'll see.
    Meanwhile, you didn't make a mistake.. you made a series of choices that you now wish, you had made at least one different choice somewhere along the way. It is okay... next time you will make some different choices, maybe, maybe not, but life will go on and you will forgive yourself.
    I just love chatting with you.
    Keep Warm, Keep Safe, check out Millisma blog for today...
    Love and Hugs, Audra
    1484 days ago
    You definitely aren't alone with this. It's partly why most of us joined Spark, amongst other problems we have, that contribute to weight gain. I thing we're all working on these issues, and want to support our SparkFriends in any way we can. I have no advice to offer, as I'm just as guilty. emoticon
    1484 days ago
    But now you're being honest with yourself, and that is a huge step forward. I'm proud of you!
    1484 days ago
    We are all imperfect beings.
    Admitting to our transgressions is a huge first step, though.
    1484 days ago
    I am in the "don't beat yourself up camp". It is hard to go for months not eating things you really love. I guess that what you should have done is portion your treat into reasonable servings and used them as a treat on a set time basis. Because you considered them "forbidden" it was easier to say "I fell off the wagon and what's the use I will just keep eating". What we need to do (and I definitely need to do) is learn to incorporate our occasional treats into our lifestyle. So we eat an occasional serving (1 ounce) of chips. That 150 calories will not sabotage us. The "forbidden" food generally is eaten in multi serving portions when we give in. It is hard but you can strive for doing better. emoticon Not perfection just better. emoticon
    1484 days ago
    Hi Gail,
    Don't beat your self up my darling .. Tomorrow is another day ...
    We all digress from the plan at times .. As long as we don't do it daily .. It's ok .. Love Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1484 days ago
    Do the best you can and don't worry about what you did yesterday
    1484 days ago
    You gave me "food" for thought. I'm glad that you wrote this blog. emoticon
    1484 days ago
  • GIVEUP30
    I lived with a liar and it was awful so I learn to honest.....but now reading your message I'm not so honest to myself......I know when eat something I shouldn't but tell myself oh it's ok this know what NO NO NO so we will both work on honestest in the matter of food......I have gain some and I am going to loose ......thank you
    1484 days ago
    As Dr. Phil says..we can't fix what we don't acknowledge ;)
    Recognizing & being aware of what you want to fix is half the battle. We all have issues we're dealing with- the support from this site is so great! I wish you the very best on your journey!! emoticon emoticon
    1484 days ago
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