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I Have a Date!!

Friday, December 27, 2013

For the first time since my ex husband left me in September 2008, I have an honest to goodness date. And it's on New Year's Eve. And it's a guy I graduated high school with. We are both from northeastern Ohio and now live in Raleigh. Weird, huh?!! Small world! Both single...although he doesn't have any kids yet.

I didn't talk to him much in high school but always knew who he was. I find it so cool, and kind of strange, that he contacted me through facebook seemingly out of the blue, last month. I moved to Raleigh January 2005, he moved here last June. What's even stranger is he is literally a 10 minute drive from me.

I am excited and nervous about our date. I told him to decide what to do, and if he picks to go out to a bar I'll help him navigate since he's still pretty unfamiliar with downtown (and I worked in downtown Raleigh for years so I know my way around pretty well). I am excited because he seems to be a really good guy, always has seemed that way. But I am nervous because I am about 75 pounds heavier than the last time he saw me, in school. I mean, we graduated in 2001, it's been almost 12 years...but I hate to show up and him having not realized how big I am now... and regret asking me on a date. I am SO insecure!! So for the next few days I'm kind of pushing myself to work out and try to drop a few pounds, at least to feel better about myself. Plus, I notice when I lose weight I tend to lose it in my face first, my belly second. Even just a tiny bit will boost my confidence. I'm too chicken and too smart to do anything risky, though. So if he sees me and doesn't like me, I'll know he isn't a good choice for me. But if I'm lucky he'll like me regardless. Better yet, he'll have realized I'm a bit bigger and still have invited me out on a date (my facebook pictures are slightly deceiving...most of them are only of my face, but there ARE some of me in a dress sitting at a Halloween party looking kind of chunky) can hope.

I hate feeling so insecure. I just want to lose this weight, not just to look good, but to feel good about myself. That is way more important to me. I don't mind having scars from having big babies, but this belly fat is such a drain on my self esteem. My legs and back are SO strong and muscular...why can't my belly just sort of go away on its own? :P

I am down 9 pounds from last month though, so that's good. Here's to 3-4 more by Tuesday night. O_O
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you, Linda_S! We actually just hung out at his house because for some reason I was really cold that night but we got to know each other. I'm looking forward to meeting with him again, hopefully soon. Depends on our schedules, of course. :o) He's a super sweet guy!!!
    1538 days ago
  • -LINDA_S
    Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine! I can relate to your insecurities, though. Don't stress about losing a few pounds quickly. You are on the right path. First Night can be fun in Raleigh, if he hasn't come up with another plan...

    1541 days ago
    Thank you Seawillow and Needtobeslim3 ! I get more excited each day! It's so funny how such a seemingly small thing to others is such a huge deal for me! :o)
    1545 days ago
    Good luck!! I bet you will have a blast. Happy New year for next week!!
    1545 days ago
    Think positive. Don't worry about the what ifs just have a great time.
    1545 days ago
    Kneemaker I think that's the part I'm most looking forward to! Connecting with a man again after 5 years. I'm scared! Haha. Thank you for the confidence!

    Chibikarate Thank you! I need to relax and be myself, you're right!

    Fenwaygirl18 Good points!! I thought he was cute in school too, but was already engaged at that point to my future husband and I wasn't interested in shying away. Thank you for the compliment. I do clean up pretty well, lol.
    I never really gave it much thought that he might be as insecure as I am! I mean, he's in great shape (yummy lol) but maybe he has thoughts like mine, about something. I can only hope both of our insecurities don't amount to much to each other.
    Can't wait for a REAL kiss LOLOL!!
    I will add you also! I definitely will report back, lol. I'm getting a bit more excited the closer it comes.
    1545 days ago
    Remember he contacted you don't be nervous he probably liked you back in high school and didn't know how to approach you. Men like a little meat on the bones, don't worry what he thinks you need to just show that your a confident young lady men love a woman who is confident, I saw your picture and your a very nice looking woman.
    If you both decide it's not a love match at least you got out of the house for an evening, don't put to much pressure on yourself. You know there's a chance you might not like him and he's probably home thinking that right now hahaha
    Just be yourself and I'm sure you'll be fine, sometimes things happen for a reason him calling you out of the blue might be one of the best things that ever happens , you'll find out on New Year's Eve hahaha your pretty much guaranteed a kiss hahaha HAVE FUN AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!! I'd like to add you and hear how your date went, good luck!
    1545 days ago
    Enjoy your date be happy and enjoy your self and just be happy good date hugz
    1545 days ago
    Smile real big and glue your eyes to his. All else will not matter. Good luck as you will do very well.
    1545 days ago
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