The First Hard Day
Thursday, December 26, 2013
I guess I was expecting it, but it still somehow took me by surprise. All day today, I just wanted to EAT. I feel like I'm in the withdrawal stage of an addiction (and I probably am), but I am determined to stay positive.
I am wary of writing the words "stay positive," because I have used them before in the past to excuse bad behavior. "I'm just going to eat all day, but in the end I want to love myself and stay positive." And while it's TRUE that we all deserve our own love and tolerance unconditionally (i.e. we should love ourselves no matter how much we weigh), I don't want to quietly slip back into old habits.
I apologize in advance to the men in the audience (though I'm sure by now you are aware that women menstruate), because I'd like to link my abnormal-as-of-2-weeks-ago appetite (before 2 weeks ago, my appetite today would have been TINY) with my monthly cycle. Does anybody else feel hungrier the week before your period starts? Again, I don't want to excuse my behavior (I DID sneak a few bits of things here and there... but did a pretty darn good job at tracking most everything) but I do want to acknowledge that sometimes we might need to eat the upper limit of our calorie range. On that note, we might need a day every few weeks to eat a few hundred calories MORE than our calorie range.
Because in the long run, it's not days like today that will determine my success; it is the way I respond to days like today. My contractor gave me sage advice: it's not about NOT making mistakes, it's about how well you deal with them!