Thursday, December 26, 2013
This marks 6 years on spark, consistently logging my food, getting my butt exercising 4-6 days a week, taking care of myself. I am proud to still be here. Especially in the middle of a holiday gorgefest. In the past I would have seen this as a fail and thought "ehh I will pick up Monday". But no I wont do that anymore. I will do my best today and everyday. Some days might fail and that's fine. Tomorrow can always be better.
I got a call Monday from my mom, the woman who has been looking at the office had finally come through and wrote a check. Such a relief! I went Tuesday to pick up her computer so we can wipe all my mom's personal info off it and give it to the woman with records on it of clients. It was so hard to see the office all torn up. I walked in started tearing up, everything of my dad was gone. Starting January 1st the office will no longer be ours at all. My dad loved that place so much he hardly came home. I remember being 3 or 4 and my mom bringing my Convertible Pink Barbie Car to the office to give to me for Hanukkah because it was the only way my dad could witness it. We lived at the office half the time it seemed. I am happy we sold it, it's just hard to say goodbye. Hard to close a chapter on my dad's love for 36 years. He poured everything he had into that office and never wanted to quit. Now I feel like he's gone and we are ripping it out of his hands because a clock is ticking and we have no choice. Life goes on, a new fresh coat of paint goes up. What once was is soon forgotten.
Must share this, my moms loves giving me food, not good food. Just food, she brought my husband and I a Family sized Papa Murphy's pizza. Which is basically two pizzas, plus a tub a cookie dough. I explained to her I don't really want to take that cookie dough, I have to hit 5 am gym classes to bounce back from eating that. She explained that she is losing weight and eating it. She knows people who put it on their oatmeal in the morning! Needless to say I did not take the cookie dough lol I took the pizza and just sent the rest to work with my husband this morning, he whined at me (not much was left, he was just sick of eating 2 pizza's between two people). I feel like if I take her food I sabotage myself, because I wont throw it out. If I don't take her food I look like I broke her heart because it's the only thing she knows to buy me with the little money she has. She seems to forget that I weighed over 100lbs more than she did at one point and food is dangerous for me. I need to have a kid so she can put her energy into that child and not into feeding me.