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    CONFUSEDBIRD   74,886
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Six Years on Spark and Saying Goodbye

Thursday, December 26, 2013

This marks 6 years on spark, consistently logging my food, getting my butt exercising 4-6 days a week, taking care of myself. I am proud to still be here. Especially in the middle of a holiday gorgefest. In the past I would have seen this as a fail and thought "ehh I will pick up Monday". But no I wont do that anymore. I will do my best today and everyday. Some days might fail and that's fine. Tomorrow can always be better.

I got a call Monday from my mom, the woman who has been looking at the office had finally come through and wrote a check. Such a relief! I went Tuesday to pick up her computer so we can wipe all my mom's personal info off it and give it to the woman with records on it of clients. It was so hard to see the office all torn up. I walked in started tearing up, everything of my dad was gone. Starting January 1st the office will no longer be ours at all. My dad loved that place so much he hardly came home. I remember being 3 or 4 and my mom bringing my Convertible Pink Barbie Car to the office to give to me for Hanukkah because it was the only way my dad could witness it. We lived at the office half the time it seemed. I am happy we sold it, it's just hard to say goodbye. Hard to close a chapter on my dad's love for 36 years. He poured everything he had into that office and never wanted to quit. Now I feel like he's gone and we are ripping it out of his hands because a clock is ticking and we have no choice. Life goes on, a new fresh coat of paint goes up. What once was is soon forgotten.

Must share this, my moms loves giving me food, not good food. Just food, she brought my husband and I a Family sized Papa Murphy's pizza. Which is basically two pizzas, plus a tub a cookie dough. I explained to her I don't really want to take that cookie dough, I have to hit 5 am gym classes to bounce back from eating that. She explained that she is losing weight and eating it. She knows people who put it on their oatmeal in the morning! Needless to say I did not take the cookie dough lol I took the pizza and just sent the rest to work with my husband this morning, he whined at me (not much was left, he was just sick of eating 2 pizza's between two people). I feel like if I take her food I sabotage myself, because I wont throw it out. If I don't take her food I look like I broke her heart because it's the only thing she knows to buy me with the little money she has. She seems to forget that I weighed over 100lbs more than she did at one point and food is dangerous for me. I need to have a kid so she can put her energy into that child and not into feeding me.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
EDDYMEESE 12/29/2013 1:41PM

    Oh, sweetie, a fresh coat of paint does not the memories erase. I know that the many clients who were devoted to your father will never forget him! Big hugs to you!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/28/2013 10:07PM

    I am so happy for you and your mom. Selling the office is a real blessing. I know it will be hard to let it go but it has to be done. We took pictures on my mom's houses and my MIL's house before we sold them as we wanted to remember them. Things change like you said and they are not the same now.

I'm sure your mom is feeling very vulnerable right now and for our generation comfort food was love. My mom always tried to feed me and my MIL was the same. I'm trying to encourage my son to eat healthy food. A grandchild would be the perfect solution.

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REBECCAMA 12/27/2013 9:37AM

    I think EVERYONE who saw your title thought you were leaving Sparkpeople. I was another one.

Sorry you are saying goodbye to your dad's office. I was just saying the other day how I miss my grandparents' home. I spent a lot of time there growing up. Those goodbyes are tough.

Keep sending food to work with your husband. He doesn't have to eat it himself. He can share it with his co-workers. I know where I work people LOVE any food that is brought in.

Having a kid won't solve your problems with your mother. Just sayin'.

Happy holidays!

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/27/2013 9:12AM

    Relieved you're not saying goodbye to SP. In a week, I'll have been here 5 years.

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LOSER05 12/27/2013 9:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOFLLAMA 12/27/2013 5:38AM

  GREAT JOB!!! You have much to be proud of! Maybe take your mom shopping & 'let' her buy you fruit?

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BOSS61 12/27/2013 5:17AM

    Wow, I was all prepared to holler at you.

"Six Years on Spark and Saying Gooodbye (to Spark)" - is how I took it.

Life does move on. You always will have the memories. And as for food from Mom, if it does not enter your home, you cannot eat it!

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PHEBESS 12/27/2013 12:21AM

    Good luck with changing your mom - I'd just keep sending food to work with your husband!

And sad about your dad's office.

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ME_B4_INSANITY 12/26/2013 3:09PM

    You can always hint that you have been looking at this great candle, or new table liner, you have been dying to try out this new pan. All of these things would only be $10 (cheaper than the pizza and cookie dough and the gym time) and you will have for a lot longer. As meantioned you want to shift her attention away from thinking food is a present. Nothing says a nice dollar store vase isn't a great gift.

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USMAWIFE 12/26/2013 1:59PM

    sometimes it is hard to move on. the memories will always be there


Comment edited on: 12/26/2013 2:00:29 PM

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SEAWILLOW 12/26/2013 1:55PM

    She may be worse with a grandchild.
I lost a home that had great meaning to me.
It took years to accept the loss.

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DONNABRIGHT 12/26/2013 12:35PM

    One day at a time - so hard to move on from good memories. Extra food at our house often goes down the street to a neighbor with two teenage boys - maybe you can find a family like that in your neighborhood. Those boys will eat anything!

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MAW_OH 12/26/2013 12:26PM

    I'm sorry for your loss. When I saw your title I thought you were leaving Sparkpeople, but I see you are just saying goodbye to your Dad's office/business.

Mom's try to overfeed kids, they should know it isn't healthy but I think it helps them feel good. Perhaps you could take the food to a food pantry or soup kitchen and donate it?

Have a great 2014!

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FIT4MEIN2013 12/26/2013 11:25AM

    The only problem with the 'kid' thinking is that you don't want your child overfed, either! You are doing great!

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