Musings on holiday bingeing
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
For most people, this is Christmas morning. For me, it's the day after Christmas. We celebrated everything a day early to accommodate my son, who sings professionally in church services and is very busy this time of year. Anyway, it's very quiet in my house this morning, and I'm the only one up. I'm ready to hop on my exercise bike as soon as I'm done checking in here.
Somehow I managed to go from 135.2 clear up to 142 pounds in the last three days. I find this quite distressing. I can honestly say that since I started Spark the end of May I haven't binged at all until now. It does not feel good to realize that I am, indeed, still the same person I have always been: One who is very capable of losing all self-control, and eating more than a dozen chocolates in a day, like I did yesterday, for example. Still, it's a mathematical puzzle to me, because it seems impossible to gain that much that quickly. Most of the food we ate was very healthy--fruits and veggies, chicken breast, not much cheese, whole grain crackers. No alcohol or hot cocoa or eggnog. And yes, I know, it's not "true" weight gain; some of it is from eating late at night, and some is probably extra water retention. But still! 7 pounds!
Technically, I am now on maintenance, even though today it doesn't look like it. So one of my big goals for the coming year is to learn how to stay in control. I want to be able to enjoy special treats without them taking control of me. I discovered that fudge has the ability to control me. One piece, and then all I can think about is going back for more and more. I also want to avoid the gross way I feel when I overeat, and especially when I overeat sugar. It makes me feel fat, lethargic, wake up with a bad taste in my mouth...everything yucky.
Some good things, though, are that even though I didn't track my food yesterday, or stick to the plans I made for the two days before that, I did check in everyday, and I did find out where the "how to maintain weight" articles were hiding, and read a whole bunch of them. I kept my goals and all firmly in mind. Now I feel a lot better informed about the process of maintaining, and how to go about it. (I wish I had had a bit more time at my goal weight before the Christmas holiday started. I think I might have done better had I had time to settle in at that new weight before the special meals came.) I also exercised all three days, hard on the first two, and just a little Tai Chi yesterday for fun with my daughter, but still exercise. Now I am ready to hop right back into weight-loss mode until I'm back down to my maintenance goal, and this time I shall EASE into adding back more calories!
I'll get a chance to practice doing a better job at controlling myself at holiday gatherings, because my brother's family is arriving tomorrow! Hopefully I've learned my lesson well, and will not give in to temptation to overdo again this time. I was (and still am!) very motivated and determined to start the New Year AT my goal weight. So now, I'm off to get on that bike!