Monday, December 23, 2013
Well things haven't been good here as you can tell from my past posts this last year has been very hard on our family.
my uncles killing himself opened my eyes to a lot of stuff and a lot of anger toward the way he did things to lead to that way out. and lot sadness also because this is the first year since mom passed away that my dad actually has a girlfriend who is living with him. its really really hard for me seeing my dad with someone else. especially since the girl is 34 and im only 33 and especially since i never saw him hug mom or kiss her or hold her hand and be sweet, he was in fact downright hateful to her and to us his 3 kids. its very hard but the person i am i've been there for him and supported him the last 6 months while he ran himself down to nothing while using every penny to buy things for this girl while she has been in drug rehab or spending money on gas to go stay the weekend in hotels to spend the weekend day with her.
its been really hard for me because my dad was severely abusive to me all my life, but i feel in my heart God wanted me to help him because two wrong don't make it a right...
My brother didn't end up divorcing his wife, which makes me sad because nothing has changed, she left for one whole day and was back the next morning and she is just as unpleasant as always.
and even went a step above in lying to my brother and telling my brother and me she was pregnant.
so that hurt a lot to find out she lied to me after she sat there for an hour with me acting excited telling me how they were going to name the baby after our mom if she was a girl to honor our moms memory.
idk but i pray that one day my brother will have the strength to get her out of his life.
as for Christmas ill be spending it alone here with grandma. its all icy an snow here and she wont leave the house and i cant leave her alone so there will be no Christmas.
OOh well. maybe next year it will be different but im going to just cry this one out and hope God will be with us and keep me a little stronger next year.
Only good news I have to report is that I finally got some money back on the floor that I sued the guy for in Jan. only half what I paid him but I was tired of fighting so i gave up.
something is better than nothing.
merry Christmas to those who have loved ones, and those who have lost ones this year. they are all in heaven now and safe.