Sunday, December 22, 2013
I have long since stopped thinking of sparkpeople as a weight loss website. I really think of it as a life skills website. So, forgive me if many of these don't have anything to do with weight loss.
1 - Planning and lists, are a way of dreaming. I try not to expect everything to go as planned or for everything on a list to be completed. That road leads to perfectionism which leads to guilt and which often leads to giving up altogether. There are times when I don't even have to look at a list as long as I've written it. There is something magical about just writing the list. It gives form to something intangible.
2 - Dream big. If there is something you've always secretely wanted to do, go for it. We've all said it before, but it happens to be true. We only have one life. Don't waste it not following your passion, regardless of money or circumstances.
3 - Food, shelter, enough money to take care of my health and my vehicle, and stil have enough money let over to indulge myself and my son is a wonderful thing. I have hated money for a long time. Money and I may end up this year with a truce which will be built into a peace and finally a partnership. I believe this is the true spiritual path to abundance.
4 - We have to forgive people who can't change. It doesn't matter that they've done us ill in the past. It doesn't matter that my father called me a bitch and accused me of nefariously plotting to steal his money in the present. Because I love him just the same, and that does not change. I love him in spite of the fact that throughout my life he has found himself unable to be on my side and something more puzzling and disturbing ..... remember the chain of events accurately. It is also important to remark that he has been on my side in other ways. He has always helped me out financially.
5 - I was not the best parent. I spent a large part of my sons youth being afraid to leave the house and sleeping for long hours due to a lifelong battle with depresion. I found myself unable to engage with him. But I always have done things right. I admit when I am wrong with my son. When I learn a lesson, I talk to him about it. It's never too late for a relationship with your children and as long as you are open, honest, and receptive. As a psychology student learning about child development I was taught that such & such stage of development needed to be completed at such and such time or the child would have problems for their entire life. I have found that life is not really like this. Our children are not machines. As I get better, my son does as well, even though he is now an adult and 21 years old. When we are open and able to discuss our various challenges as human beings, I have found that my son has just as much of a desire to overcome these obstacles as I ever have. So we remain present for one another.
6 - A healthy lifestyle is about joy. When I exercise, I become exhilarated. I get an endorphin high which is just a chemical explanation for feeling really really good. I become ecstatically and almost realistically happy for a short period of time.
So what I've learned as far as exercise is that it's really important to do something we enjoy.
7 - Being overweight is partly about a broken relatonship with food. I don't overeat because I'm hungry. It's often because I want to stop feeling something. Repairing this relationship means eating for different reasons. Luckily, these are good reasons. When I am eating food that is good for me, I feel better, I enjoy the food more, and overall it's a better experience.
8 - I believe, and I am still testing this theory, that losing weight and getting fit when you are over 100 pounds overweight, is about more than eating less/better and moving more. I think for everyone is must be different - but for me - I have to address the reasons I became overweight/obese to begin with.
......perhaps more later.... thank you for your indulgence.....