Sunday, December 22, 2013
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D".
What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.
What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes?
A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)
What's red and white and red and white and red and white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill.
Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous?
Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?
Because snow man is an island.
A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents.
As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today!
"There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!
"And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"
Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.