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This was posted on Facebook by Glynis McCants

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones

Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think
I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a
jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Tim Jones

Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,
S Claus

Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!


Listen Pizza Face, Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world
on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your s**t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that,

S Clizzy

Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.



That's what I thought you little ba****d.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GENRE009 12/22/2013 1:43AM

emoticon EVA

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LINOVER 12/21/2013 6:23PM

    I too wish more people would see this and take notice! Glad Santa set him straight!

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WINDSWEPTACRES 12/21/2013 11:13AM

    Made me laugh out loud. Send it off to all my friends with attitude. emoticon Merry Christmas. Hope you're not on Santa's 'naughty' list this year.

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RUSSELL_40 12/21/2013 10:58AM

    I loved that. I laughed a lot.

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GARDENCHRIS 12/21/2013 8:50AM

    GO SANTA!!!! emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 12/21/2013 1:27AM

    Yeah, Santa!

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SANDRALEET 12/20/2013 8:41AM

    I wish that would happen to more The warld needs a good telling off To full of creed Good story

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    emoticon I wish every one would see this and take notice: Santa is a ninja!

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PDSLIM 12/20/2013 7:17AM


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IDICEM 12/20/2013 3:06AM

    emoticon I needed that laugh. Thanks!!

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TIGER_LILY_613 12/20/2013 1:15AM

  I am LITERALLY laughing out loud. This is hilarious ! Thank you !!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DALID414 12/20/2013 12:35AM

    emoticon too funny!

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DOVESEYES 12/20/2013 12:19AM

    Ah Modern times. "We would never speak to Santa like that in the "old" days emoticon

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