Thursday, December 19, 2013
So I read this quote today that said "Whatever is on your plate got there because at sometime YOU said YES to it." Yikes!
Another statement that hit home. That's two just this week. Seems things have been sliding off my overfilled plate of life and splatting to the floor without intent. More keeps getting heaped on and there is no where to put it!
December has given me many moments of awareness. What am I hungry for? What is on my plate?
I know some of you can relate to this - ever gone to a buffet and taken a few things and put them on your plate because they were there - and then you get to what you REALLY WANT and there is no room? so you squish those other things over and plop what you really want on - but you don't enjoy it because it is mixed up with all those other things you really don't care that much about? Hmmmmm. See where I am going with this?
What is on my plate? Is it what I WANT to be there? Are the things I want sliding off my plate because it is filled with other things that really aren't that important to me? Geez.
I must admit this December I have been all over my path. A couple days I was pushing forward bravely, other days I was stubbornly sitting on the ground watching others pass me by, other days I was mindlessly spinning in the middle of the path spending lots of energy but going nowhere and even other days I was turned around and walking away from where I WANT to be and heading back toward that unhappy place I was because that was the easy thing to do.
I feel like I Jut got off the tilt a whirl. My head is spinning and Iam trying to stand on my feet, wobbling to and fro fumbling for direction. I feel guilt and shame because I know what I should be eating to accomplish my goals, I know that I should be doing some sort of exercise and I am not. I'm too busy for me. Yikes!
The light bulb just flashed - this is the most crazy month of the year for me. It is year end at work. That in and of itself is crazy busy. We are expanding our office - so there have been extra demands - longer hours, more stress. Add to that holiday shopping, holiday parties, kids programs at school, gatherings with family and friends, holiday decorating, the list goes on and on...... Yep - the plate is overflowing. My needs are no where in this picture. But there are lots of holiday foods, treats, things not on my meal plan - at every corner. I am mindlessly grabbing a cookie, some candy, you name it, there is lots of getting take out food because I am too tired to cook. It is my way of feeling good for that two seconds - which is all it lasts. Which is then followed by the chorus in my head scolding me and the numbers on the scale laughing at me, and me feeling low and hopeless. STOP!!!!! Why would anyone purposely do that to themselves? Really?
AHAH! But here's my moment...
Even though I have not been doing the right things - I am still here - and it has brought me a great awareness. Things I have never taken the time to look at or acknowledge.
Stop putting things on your plate you don't want Barb! There won't be room for the things you really want! If there are things on your plate you don't want - take them off! It's ok to take things off your plate. You don't have to eat it all or do it all! But most of all make sure you take time for you, because YOU are carrying the plate!
Maybe this month is about awareness for me......