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Learning from our mistakes

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Thursday, December 19, 2013

I posted a blog a few days ago that incorporated this graphic:

Another Sparker, Sheltie2013, made this comment on my blog: "The little humps in the road make for an interesting life and equip us to deal with trouble!!!"

That is SO TRUE!! I also believe the mistakes we make in life (those that we so often feel guilty about and kick ourselves about) are what build our character and make us more loving, understanding and non-judgmental people! And the lesson from THAT is QUIT kicking ourselves - learn the lesson of our mistakes and move forward!!

I believe this is especially true on our weight loss journey - WHY are we so much harder on ourselves than on our friends? I believe the more we love and accept ourselves (mistakes, imperfections and all) the easier weight loss is. When you love someone, you treat them with respect and kindness. You VALUE them!! And when they make a mistake you help them forgive themselves and get right back on track with life!!

This time of the year (the holiday season - in my world it starts with Halloween and ends after New Years Day) is fraught with opportunities - opportunities to eat mindfully and opportunities to eat special foods that we know may make the scales go up tomorrow morning. Choosing the second one doesn't make you bad or weak or anything else. The important thing is what you do AFTERWARDS!

If, like me, you have been eating mostly healthy whole foods and have done away with food cravings, be aware that those cravings MAY sneak back the next day. This will be even more likely to happen if you eat off plan foods multiple times/days. Don't let the holidays blow your weight loss/maintenance success! If you find you are kicking yourself about your choices, STOP! If you feel the food enjoyment wasn't worth the outcome, resolve to make a different choice the next time. But DO NOT get down on yourself!! If weight loss/maintenance was easy we wouldn't be here!! Its NOT, but it is SO worth the effort.

A recent Beck quote suggested a different way to approach all those holiday goodies that surround us at this time of the year. Instead of stuffing in four of those delicious homemade cookies how about SAVORING one? Eat it slowly, savoring each bite. Picture this - you are standing in your mother's (aunt's, daughter's, friend's) kitchen and you are talking to her as take a little bite, SAVOR it, and tell her how wonderful it is! Then go on to other topics - TALK to her, find out what she has been up to lately, COMMUNICATE!! Isn't that what the holidays are really about? Friends, family, fun?? Food will be there, but move it down the list of things you love about the holidays, ok?

If she urges another cookie on you (or suggests you take some home) just say "no thank you"! That is enough for the offer of another cookie, but to the offer of taking them home? You might say "That one was wonderful but.... How you continue will depend on you and your relationship to the hostess (and what you are comfortable with). With my daughter I'll just say 'but my skinny jeans are fitting just right and I want to keep it that way.' To someone I don't know as well I might say "Thank you, but we already have too many goodies at home."

How about practicing some answers now so you will be ready? Because if this hasn't already happened to you it probably WILL happen. And learning how to say no to food that is pushed on us is a necessary learning experience to those of us who LOVE food!!

And if you totally blow it? MOVE on! Remember you LOVE and VALUE yourself!! NOT just when you are perfect - NO ONE is perfect!! You don't expect your sister or your best friend to be perfect do you? If there is a lesson to be learned from the experience, learn it then move on!! And pat yourself on the back for not letting one day destroy your resolve to be healthy and fit!!

Oh yes - one more thing to think about as you go forward (this graphic deserves a blog of its own but that can wait until 2014 - for now just think about it):

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    this is wonderful.
    emoticon for sharing.

    1286 days ago
    emoticon This is a really emoticon blog!!
    1345 days ago
    awesome thought provoking blog loved it
    1350 days ago

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1372 days ago
  • ICANDOIT1220
    Thanks for sharing your insights --- you said exactly what I needed to hear as I go into a new week. Last week was better than the week before, but I have still been feeling discouraged about some weight gain and wondering if I have what it takes to get back to where I was a year and 1/2 ago. THANK YOU!!
    1381 days ago
    1388 days ago
    Wow, thank you for putting into words something I have been struggling with. Lately I've been noticing that when I have a "treat" (for me it's Reese's peanut butter cups) I don't even enjoy it because I eat it while I'm doing something else. It goes by so fast that I don't even notice the taste or anything else. Mindfulness in what we do is so important.

    Practice is good advice, too. We are better equipped to handle what's thrown at us when we prepare for it.

    Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom!
    1388 days ago
    1389 days ago
    emoticon blog
    1389 days ago
    Wow what perfect timing for me. I recently lost a few pounds and have been eating some of the foods I know are triggers for me. The first time or two it was ok . Yesterday I was completely off plan. I ate almost nothing and what I did eat did not satisfy me. I started telling myself " ok here I go again. I'm wasting my time trying". Instead I should have planned out something that I really enjoy instead of eating to eat. I was way under my calories but did not get the nutrition I needed. Moral of this story? It would have been easy to just quit but after reading your post I really rethought what I was doing . Thanks for caring enough to share your thought and success
    1389 days ago
    Thank you for sharing this great blog!
    1389 days ago
  • PLIDC1
    Life is a mastery program--if I don't learn the lesson this time around, it will be repeated until I master it.
    thanks for the encouraging blog!

    Much success to you!
    1389 days ago
    Such a great post. I have learned that Bagels in the morning will set my cravings off during the day!
    1389 days ago
    Well said!
    1389 days ago
    Perfect timing. Yesterday I felt out of control with bad food choices and I had hurt my neck so I didn't work out as hard as I usually do at the gym. so I was really feeling crummy about my self. But your right we can't beat our selves up every time we make a bad choice. It's like falling off your bike. You pick yourself back up and get back on. Today is a new day.
    It is a struggle to keep the balancing act going, but as along as recognize when we've gotten off balance and we do what we need to do to readjust. then we don't need to beat ourselves up every time. We didn't get here over night, so we not going to reach our goal over night. It's one day at a time. We can do it!!
    1389 days ago
  • DANIEL571
    The blog was very good and I appreciate you writing on this subject. Like all of us, I have regretted mistakes, but I am learning from them. I find the most important thing for me to do is do something that has become less popular over the past few decades in America and the world, and that is to turn to Jesus, with my mistakes. He forgives, chastises, and leads us on. I am coming to realize my only worth and righteousness is in Him, but I need to use my talents for Him. The most important thing in my life is that I am a child of the King of kings, and not a chemical engineer or teacher or piano player or poem writer, all of what I have done. I use these talents for His glory. His Bible is full of people how have made mistakes, from David to Samson, to a prostitute, and He redeemed them, when they turned to Him. Yes, Jesus is rather unpopular in America, compared to the earlier years of America, but He still rules and reigns, and Jesus is the key to life , and learning from our mistakes and recovering from them. Read His Word and you will discover this.
    1389 days ago
    I tell myself I can start my day over at any time so for example if I eat too much at a luncheon I make sure I don't use it as an excuse to eat junk for the rest of the day. I start my day over and eat healthy for the rest of the day.
    1389 days ago
    Thanks I needed this talking to especially about not beating yourself up.... My behind should be constantly sore from it....
    Anyway thanks also for reminding me of the trick of savoring your treats in small doses and then firmly not bringing more into your house.
    1390 days ago
  • BETRHO48
    LOVE this blog! What an accurate picture of success.

    And a picture is worth a thousand words (especially to me).

    Thanks for putting this message together in this way.

    1390 days ago
    1390 days ago
    You go girl !!! emoticon emoticon
    1390 days ago
    wow! You said it!
    1390 days ago
    I love the Chinese proverb about failure. Thank you for your thoughtful post.
    1390 days ago
    emoticon your on true, I am still going in circles and circles trying to succeed....
    one day at a time.... emoticon
    1390 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Week of 01/30/2014 - Featured Blog Post

    Learning From Our Mistakes
    Great to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail.
    1390 days ago
    After spending hundreds of dollars (or more) on books, videos, special supplements, and guided programs I learned that mpler is better. I now focus on quality rather than quantity in my foods, and I don't deprive myself. Instead, I savor small quantities of excellent "special" foods, and I always enjoy them in a nice setting and served on my nicest dishes. No wolfing things down standing or on the go. And with my health issues, better health and fitness is just a walk in the park away--or the mall, neighborhood, wherever I can squeeze one in. No need for a stairmaster. I just take the stairs whenever I get the chance, or climb up and down and step stool cleaning out and organizing cupboards and closets. In other words, I do what our mothers did.
    1390 days ago
    Love the blog.
    1390 days ago
    Absolutely loved this!!! Thank you for sharing!! =)
    1390 days ago
  • CAROLJ35
    Just what I needed to hear! Very well said!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1390 days ago
    So very emoticon emoticon for the great advice.
    1390 days ago
  • ADAMG23
    Awesome entry
    1390 days ago
    Very well said.
    1390 days ago
    So true. Thanks for sharing
    1390 days ago
    Great blog.

    1390 days ago
    I love your inspiration to everyone! You said it right!
    1390 days ago
    A very positive blog. Thank you for sharing. I've been trying to think more positive. If I make a meal mistake I that next mouthful has to be on program and not wait for the next day.
    1390 days ago
    This blog is one of the best I have ever read, thank you for the inspiration and reassurance we all need to hear sometimes!
    1390 days ago
  • RUTHEY01
    emoticon emoticon Great Blog.
    1390 days ago
  • MAREE1953
    Yaaaay you! Great blog! One trick I use when asked to "have another" is to take it home, and freeze in small portions. Knowing that I can have a treat, just not right now is a help to me.
    1390 days ago
    Thank you. These are things that I really need. Not only for myself but also for my family and friends.
    1390 days ago
    I might be reading this a month later, but noticed you posted on Dec.. 19, 2013. happens to be my birthday. Turned 72. And If I hadn't got control of my eating habits and knew I loved myself enough to take control I wouldn't be here today.
    Somedays I long to let go and eat some junk food. But I talk myself out of it. When I do indulge in one of my occasional foods, I savor each bite , really taste it. I enjoy my food. Don't gobble it down like I;ll never eat again.
    Sometimes what you can't have , makes it more special when you do have a little.
    I have found out it's balance in all aspects of life that make life good.
    Take care.
    Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1390 days ago
    Very inspiring!
    1390 days ago
    Isn't this a great topic for all of us.

    We are human and we do make mistakes but the thing we all are learning is...we are human beings and sometimes it will and definitely does happen to all of us.

    As they say pick yourself up an dust yourself off and start Day #1 again!

    It's better that not!!!! emoticon

    1390 days ago
    Thank you so much. This is awesome. I so needed to read this, this morning. emoticon
    Progress not perfection. What can I learn? How can I make different choices? I can start over. Today - If I had that something to eat. I am done with that Item today. I can have it again tomorrow. emoticon emoticon
    1390 days ago
    This arrived at the right time! Thank you very much. emoticon emoticon
    1390 days ago
    So true, thank you for sharing!


    1390 days ago
    This amazing blog arrived in my inbox at just the right moment. I have been on a feeding frenzy for the past several days. I know I'm not eating right and strive to eat healthy meals, but still find myself rummaging through the pantry looking for food. I can't even say that the food tastes good, because at some point I burned my tongue and the taste buds are out of wack. I have set myself to be more mindful of what I eat, how I feel, and what I am doing with the hopes this binge is over.
    Thank you again for your post.
    1390 days ago
  • CRAFTY1960
    1390 days ago
    Awesome blog! Thanks for sharing :)
    1390 days ago
    Marilyn, Thanks for the fantastic blog. I am reading it at the perfect time, as I am having lunch
    today at a Waffle House with an overweight friend. I will be sure to check out the menu in advance so I can make smart choices.

    You are so right that veering off course can happen at anytime. This long winter has been a real
    challenge to me. So many food commercials on TV! And it seems like bathing suit season is
    such a long way off!

    Hope you are learning how not to beat yourself up. Sometimes when I am tempted to do that I try to think back to when I was learning major life skills like reading, driving, or using a computer. I had to make a lot of mistakes in the process because I was learning something totally new. And learning a healthy lifestyle definitely requires a full toolbox of skills.
    I have to remember that I desire a life that is contrary to the norm of our society that promotes being sedentary,
    pigging out all the time, and making fun of people who do practice healthy ways.
    So I must focus on it everyday. It really helps me a lot to have some Spark time
    in the morning to get me headed in the right direction.

    Marilyn. emoticon
    1390 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/30/2014 9:04:59 AM
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