Thursday, December 19, 2013
First, the weight: 135.4!! That's A HEALTHY BMI!!!!! AHH!!!!
According to the gym, I've lost 11 lbs since joining there. Prior to Thanksgiving (11/15), I was 137.6, so in the past month, I've lost 2.2 lbs. Somehow, I must have lost the other 9 lbs in the 2-3 weeks prior to that. So since joining my new gym and starting personal training, I'm stoked with the results. You know what, I'm even pleased with "only" losing 2.2 lbs in the past month. I'm even more shocked to be at a healthy BMI!! Just barely, but I'm in there!!
Second, body fat percentage: I'm down from 29.1% to 28%. I'm not sure how quickly you're suppose to drop body fat, but my PT told me he was quite pleased with the results :) Right on track! My goal is around 20%, but definitely less than 25% (healthy). I just gotta keep doing what I'm doing! He said it could take the better part of a year to get down to 20%, but that I just gotta stick with it.
-Shoulder: down 0.5 inches (he was shocked because there isn't really anything to lose in my shoulders)
-Bust: down 0.5 inches. Not ok with this, I don't want to lose my boobs! Yes, they're just fat, but still... I know I'm shrinking. In the beginning, I was a solid 40D. Back in October, I got remeasured since I noticed my bras weren't quite fitting right and I was a 36 C/D, right in the middle. Now, I fear I'm a C. Blah. Victoria's Secret semi annual sale needs to start up again because I need new bras!
-Waist: down 2 inches! WOO!
-Hips: down 1.5 inches!
-Thigh: down 0.5 inches!
I think my calfs, arm, and neck stayed the same.
So now I just have to keep doing what I'm doing. My PT isn't focused on my weight at all, that isn't the goal, body fat is. I still ant my stomach to get a lot smaller and I want my pouch to go away. He told me that's the last thing that would happen though, is losing that pouch. That makes me sad. I can tell that the pouch is getting more defined and whatnot (by defined, it is getting smaller), but that's what I really want. That's my ultimate goal, to be pouchless - and to have my belly button be visible. I'll get there though. Eventually!
So end the positive stuff (really, I'm ecstatic!), but on to the negative and the part where it seems like I hate my body. I just don't understand. My PT said that I'm tiny, all my friends say I am, that I don't need to lose anymore weight. I bought size 6 dress pants recently. I'm a "healthy" BMI (I don't believe in BMI, it's just another indicator, but it is a cool to say that!). But whenever I look at my stomach, I just see disgustingness and fat. Lots of fat. How can other people not see that? How can they not see the roll covering my belly button and the hideous pouch? How can all the numbers say I'm going in the right direction, but I not have an appealing stomach? A healthy person at a healthy BMI wearing size 6 dress pants should have a "normal" stomach and that person's belly button should be visible. That's what society says, right? I don't know, I guess it just confuses me, that's all. I want to be "normal", but my view of normalcy, is of course, skewed by society. Yes, I know that I'll NEVER have that modelesque body, I don't want that. I just want to be normal!