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    STEPH-KNEE   80,261
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80,000-99,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Accepting When Things Don't Go The Way You Hope...


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Thursday, December 19, 2013


We all have goals, and since you are here on Spark People, I would bet one of your goals is to get healthier (or stay healthy, if you've gotten to that point already). You might have a goal weight or size in mind, you may want to lower your blood pressure or blood sugar, or you just may want to feel better. Everyone's goals and how they measure success is different. Many of us set a timeline for these goals, and that is a great way to stay focused and do your best to achieve it... but what happens when you give it your ALL and you still fall short? Or what happens when life comes along and knocks you on your tushy, and throws you for a loop? Maybe you got injured and it prevented you from getting in your exercise. Maybe you are having trouble in some other area of your life, and the stress has caused you to reach into the cookie jar one too many times. Or maybe it isn't something negative at all, maybe things have been going so well that you are out enjoying life, enjoying friends, and with that you have been enjoying food as well!

Not meeting a goal you set for yourself can be discouraging, frustrating and in some cases, down right heartbreaking. emoticon


I had my first taste of this heartbreak this time last year. I desperately wanted to get to 199 by the end of 2012... and it was a very reasonable goal when I originally set it. But when I hit a plateau and my weight loss stalled, so did my motivation. The closer it got to the end of the year the more I realized my dream of hitting Onederland in 2012 was no longer a possibility. It really did crush me, and when you mix that with the obstacles of the holiday season, my weight loss really stalled. I struggled for a while, but eventually I pushed forward and you know what happened...

In July of 2013 I FINALLY HIT ONEDERLAND! emoticon If you've been my Spark Friend for a while, you know I had a huge virtual party and I really felt like a million bucks. Even all these months later sometimes I can't believe I actually did it. Did it come almost a full 7 months later than I wanted it to? Yes. Did it feel like any less of an accomplishment because it came later? Heck no! It felt just as amazing as it would have felt had I hit it in 2012!

I am struggling with that same form of disappointment as this year comes to a close... here is an excerpt from a blog I wrote on January 1, 2013.

"I have never been one to get caught up in all the New Year Resolutions and stuff, but this year I am just beyond excited! I want 2013 to be my goal year (180 and then possibly on to 170), but I am not going to be getting all crazy about it. All I know is that I will weigh less at the beginning of 2014 than I do right now, and that in itself makes me happy."

Now over the course of this year I changed my goal weight from 180, to 170 and have since decided on 160. But regardless of changing my goal... I did not even reach my original "goal weight" of 180 pounds. I really thought 2013 was going to be my year to get to my goals and work on maintaining and finding the right weight for me. One thing that I did have right is that I do in fact weigh less at the end of this year than I did in the beginning, so that is a mini victory... but knowing that I sold myself short and didn't give it my all does still have a little sting to it.

But you know what?! I WILL get to my goal of 160 because I am willing to work and struggle until I get to that point! Then once I get there, I am going to work and struggle to maintain a healthy weight range for the rest of my life. Would I like to go out on a limb and say that 2014 is going to my goal year, for real-sies this time?! I sure would. I think it is very possible that I can get to 160 pounds and work on learning what that fabulous maintenance thing is all about. I am sure willing to do the work to get there... but if for some reasons bumps in the road or other obstacles out of my control knock me for a loop... I will be just as happy and proud if I were to reach goal weight in 2015 instead!



Did 2013 not go as planned? Did you not lose as much weight as you originally hoped? Did you lose weight only to gain it all back plus more? Maybe you did fabulously and you are going to use that motivation to take you right into the New Year! No matter how good or bad this year went... it's in the past. The year is almost over and we can't get a do over of 2013. So take some time to reflect on the past year... celebrate your victories and your emoticon moments... learn from the pitfalls and the bumps in the road so that you can handle them better in 2014! We can't get a do over, but we can start right here and right now, and do better in 2014! If there are goals you didn't reach, vow to reach them in 2014! Or do as I am doing and decide that you will get there when you get there! Of course that means we have to do the work and get the job done, but if we do that then we will eventually get to where we are going... and I am here to tell you it will feel just as good in 6 months, a year, or 10 years as it will to reach that goal today! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NASFKAB 12/30/2013 11:51AM

  great blog emoticon emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 12/29/2013 12:33PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JERICHO1991 12/29/2013 10:18AM

    We will get there.

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ANGELN325 12/28/2013 8:41AM

    Great blog and so true.

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SUSIEMT 12/23/2013 7:45PM

    Thank you Steph! I have been fighting the same 10 lbs this past year! I will get to my goal when I get there. I will work my plan and get there. Thanks again dear.

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MRSRIGS1 12/23/2013 12:00PM

    emoticon

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ROXYCARIN 12/23/2013 12:57AM

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50PLUSBABY 12/22/2013 8:46PM

  I just finished blogging about my bad year and you just nailed it. I have to make sure that by the end of 2014 I will be weighing much less than at the beginning. thanks for your post .

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JAMDRGN76 12/22/2013 12:45PM

    This was awesome. Thank you emoticon emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 12/21/2013 11:23PM

  You certainly called it for me. 2013 was NOT a good year. My son was diagnosed with cancer in March, and my weight-loss journey stalled out. But I learned that in the overall scheme of things, it's OK. I knew that anyway, but it really hit home when my son got sick, we had to move away from home for six weeks, and I gained back at least half of the small amount I had managed to lose. I haven't stopped trying, and I don't intend to. And we are slogging through his treatment, and we will get to the end of that, too.

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SUPERDAD55 12/21/2013 11:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
you are and inspiration to all.
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TIME2BLOOM4ME 12/21/2013 9:02PM

    I love your blog. Well said.

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TURTLELADY56 12/21/2013 8:58PM

  hmmmmmm re writing our story....and adjusting to the chapter's..... great blog!!!

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SUSAN727 12/21/2013 8:35PM

    Thanks, very well said and I needed that. I have been going uphill since Thanksgiving.

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MJEFFERSON23 12/21/2013 7:37PM

  Thanks, I needed that!

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NEWTINK 12/21/2013 4:14PM

    emoticon

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DIANNEMT 12/21/2013 3:39PM

    Goals are great--have them--but don't let them make you feel bad! Just keep making good choices when you can and keep moving!

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JOANNHUNT 12/21/2013 3:23PM

    AWESOME WELL SAID THANK YOU FOR SHARING

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JAYDEE1211 12/21/2013 2:21PM

    It's never too late to change the story of your life. You have done a great job and I know yo will keep on succeeding. Best wishes.

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CAROLINAKIWI 12/21/2013 12:29PM

    Thank you for this blog. It will help me pull myself back up!

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CATGETTINGFIT 12/21/2013 11:56AM

    Well said! This blog was just what I needed to hear today.

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REBIRTHDIVA 12/21/2013 11:03AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PENNYSAVER2 12/21/2013 10:54AM

    Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed this blog. emoticon

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FIRECOM 12/21/2013 10:52AM

    Slow and steady wins the race every time.

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NESHAMA123 12/21/2013 10:46AM

    I too can relate to your blog. Thank you for sharing. Last January I derailed into a year of physical therapy and very reduced workouts. I could have worked out different parts of my body since my injury was shoulder and arm - I just didn't. A new year - one day at a time!


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INGBADEN 12/21/2013 10:10AM

    i can so relate to this. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone

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INGBADEN 12/21/2013 10:10AM

    I can so relate to this. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone

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ANNROW0354 12/21/2013 9:19AM

    emoticon

I love your honest approach to meeting goals. We can get so down on ourselves when we feel like we "failed" but if we can turn it around and see how far we have come from where we started, we can concentrate on our successes.

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KANOE10 12/21/2013 8:01AM

    Great blog. I know you will reach your goals!

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HAPPYMENOW58 12/21/2013 6:46AM

    Very well said! Spark onward and downward! emoticon

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BECCA315 12/21/2013 5:29AM

    Very inspirational, especially for those of us who haven't done as well as we hoped this past year. Becca
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CORNERKICK 12/21/2013 3:27AM

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WENDYANNE61 12/21/2013 2:45AM

    I have had a similar year of struggles with my inner child or beast, depending on the day! I met my original goal of 58kg in April this year and stayed within maintanance range until Sept. Then I injured my foot and lost some momentum - now I am struggling to stay under 61kg but I keep tracking, and reading blogs like yours has kept my Spark alive! Thank you!! emoticon 2014 here I come!!

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BLUEJEAN99 12/21/2013 1:38AM

    emoticon

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JIBBIE49 12/21/2013 1:16AM

    emoticon great to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail.

Most people who join Sparks give up and quit, so know you did well just staying here.

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ROCKYCPA 12/21/2013 1:04AM

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JAMER123 12/20/2013 11:27PM

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GOOSIEMOON 12/20/2013 8:30PM

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JSEATTLE 12/20/2013 7:41PM

  I have many days, weeks, months and years that do not go as planned. Suffice it to say that making a plan is a sure-fire way for things to turn out differently. But plans are good as a guide, you make adjustments along the way and maybe even tweak it here and there. How great thought, that you are sticking with it and looking forward to the promise of a New Year!

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IAMAGEMLOVER 12/20/2013 7:08PM

    Maintenance is a lot harder than weight loss is. It is a balancing act. It took me 23 months to lose 120 pounds. I have been maintaining for about 50 weeks. Weight loss was definitely a lot easier than maintenance is. When you get there, and I know you will, join the team At Goal and Maintaining. It is very helpful to get the support of others who face the same challenges that yuu do just as it is in weight loss. emoticon emoticon

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ONTHEPATH2 12/20/2013 5:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CLAYARTIST 12/20/2013 5:57PM

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PATRICIAANN46 12/20/2013 5:04PM

  So very emoticon !!! emoticon

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LISA_FRAME 12/20/2013 3:57PM

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CHARTHESTAR 12/20/2013 3:54PM

    Great positive attitude!
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LIVELYGIRL2 12/20/2013 3:25PM

  I know it is so disappointing in some ways, but the main deal , is your STILL working toward this. Many give up.

I'm going to telll you which thing I've improved at so far, and it's not a tradtional thing, but I still think it's a good change. I'll visit at your page and tell you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 12/20/2013 2:49PM

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 12/20/2013 2:48PM

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NONNAOF2 12/20/2013 2:25PM

  Sometimes it takes a while for all good thinsg to come to us, no matter how small! Keep up your good work!! :-)

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SCRAPBECCA 12/20/2013 1:50PM

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