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HOLIDAY FRUITCAKE RECIPE(A MUST READ EVEN IF YOU HATE FRUITCAKE)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

1 CUP OF WATER--1 CUP OF SUGAR--4 EGGS--2 CUPS OF CHOPPED DRIED FRUIT--1 t BAKING SODA--2 1/2 CUPS FLOUR--1 CUP BROWN SUGAR--1 1/2 t VANILLA--1 CUP CHOPPED NUTS--LEMON JUICE--BOTTLE of FAVORITE WHISKEY-----------------------
--------------SAMPLE WHISKEY TO TEST FOR FRESHNESS AND QUALITY. TO BE SURE IT IS THE HIGHEST QUALITY POUR 1 LEVEL CUP OF WHISKEY. DRINK AND REPEAT......TURN ON ELECTRIC MIXER, BEAT ONE CUP MIXING BUTTER IN A FLUFFY BOWL.....NOW ADD ONE TEASPOON OF SUGAR AND BEAT AGAIN.....MAKE SURE THE WHISKEY IS OK,CRY ANOTHER TUP.....BREAK 4 LEGGS AND ADD TO BOWL.....MIX ON THE TURNER...IF THE FRIED DRUIT GETS STUCK IN THE PRY IT LOOSE WITH A DREWSCRIVER.....SAMPLE WHISKEY FOR TOSISTICITY......NEXT SIGT 2 CUPS OF SALT, OR SOMETHING...WHERE WAS I ? OH YES, CHECK WHISKEY AND REPEAT...NOW SIFT THE LEMON JUICE AND STRAIN THE NUTS...ADD ONE TABLESPOON SUGAR OR SOMETHING...WHATEVER YOU CAN FIND....GREASE THE OVEN, TURN THE CAKEPAN 360 DEGREES....DON'T FORGET TO BEAT OFF THE TURNER....BOON THE SPATTER....NO UH.., POOR THE SPATTER IN THE CAKE BAN, WHISK THE CHECKY AGAIN AND GO TO BED.....NIGHTY--NIGHT.........
.....BY SUSAN CAPPS
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