Monday, December 16, 2013
Thank you to all my spark friends who commented on my blog Saturday. As you could tell, I was in a bit of a funk and having a hard time shaking it off.
One thing I have learned is that when I share my feelings/concerns, I usually get feedback. Most times the feedback reminds me that I am not alone, and many times it encourages me. You see, SPARK FRIENDS ROCK!
When I read that others had the same concerns, somehow that heavy weight seemed to be lifted.
I packed my bags, got in my car and made the snowy drive - which should have taken an hour but took two! The roads were a mess! Positive side, this cut in to my cocktail hour time, so less time to nervously sip an adult beverage!
Checked into my room, I got ready, looked in the mirror and immediately that snotty little girl that resides in my head went UGH!!! I couldn't really find a compliment for myself with my flat shoes, my black slacks or my sparkly sweater. My hair was not what I wanted it to be due to the snowy weather, it was a bit frizzly. In fact I felt a bit like a disco ball. But damn, my necklace rocked. So I told myself that I had one snazzy necklace, put my chin up and went on to the party.
As I made my way into the room, I couldn't help but notice all the thin girls in their beautiful outfits. They certainly did look nice. One in particular took my eye with her red dress which was full skirted with tulle and looked almost like one of those ice skater outfits. I think many of them follow that "If you got it flaunt it" philosophy. OK, so maybe disco ball isn't so bad after all. I couldn't help but smile when I stopped to chat with someone from one of our other offices and their wife said "That is a fantastic necklace!" Yes, indeed. I smiled brightly.
I made my way to our table, had a glass of wine and all those feelings I had at home were pretty much gone. I was at ease. I didn't look like I wanted to - but I was completely fine BEING ME!!!!!
Dinner time rolled around and it was a buffet line type thing. I had some of the mixed green salad with dried cherries and mandarin oranges instead of the dressing covered caesar salad. I had a small piece of salmon (it did have some sort of a pumpkin sauce on it which I think had lots of calories) and slice of the tenderloin. I opted for the steamed herb potato instead of the mashed with gravy and had some of the green beans. My plate was full enough for me, so I went back to my table. Everything was wonderful. Perhaps having that bit of a disco ball feeling wasn't so bad, it helped me be more aware of what I was putting on my plate and actually THINKING and making CHOICES instead of just mindlessly indulging myself.
Then came the desert room. As usual there was every desert known to man. I decided I was going to walk through the whole room, pick one desert and call it good. I didn't stick with that plan. I had a dark chocolate covered strawberry and a small square of cheesecake drizzled with dark chocolate and raspberry which I tasted but it looked better than it was so I didn't finish it.
I have no idea what my calorie count for the night was. I have no guess. It's hard to know how my food was prepared and what it contained! I am sure it was over my normal allowance and my workout for the day consisted of 30 minutes of snow shoveling before I left. So the day was not one of my strongest performances - but given the temptations I thought I made pretty good choices.
These are the holidays. I did the best I could. I have no regrets. In fact...... I FEEL GOOD!!!!! (are you singing and dancing to that tune now?) Did you hear that? I have no regrets. Not the disco ball sweater, not my sensible flat shoes, not my glass of wine, or even my TWO desert items! OK, well maybe one regret, that I didn't taste a desert I actually liked - but then again maybe that was divine intervention!
Another fine Holiday party behind me. Yippee!!! One thing for sure, next year I will not be sporting either an ice skater outfit or a disco ball sweater! Hopefully, somewhere there is a tasteful, stylish little black dress in my future - with which I have this fine necklace to go with!