Monday, December 16, 2013
I need help.
I have a big problem with emotional eating.
I don't want to feel - it is not safe.
Would any of you be able to direct me to resources that might help me learn to deal with this? Possible resources might include a Spark team, blogs, Success Stories, being a Spark Friend, how to meditate, how to live in the present.
I like to exercise and love to run - but as the saying goes, All the Exercise in the World Doesn't Make Up for a Crappy Diet.
I have been eating eating eating and watching TV. I've become aware again of a lifelong familiar pattern of thinking that I call, "Things will get better when....".
The current whens center on my husband getting a job, us getting regular medical insurance again. And more minorly when my mother finishes outpatient cardiac rehab - supposedly at the end of the month - which means I won't have to run her there 3x a week in addition to everything else that is draining, weighing on me.
I am dreading my DD coming home from her first semester at college for a couple of reasons - she's been having GI issues of some sort that the school health services haven't yet been able to figure out. She's lost 15# that she didn't need to lose. And we only have catastrophic insurance and not enough money to cover everyday bills. And the huger issue is that 12/24 is the anniversary of the death of her friend Jen Sebena, murdered by Jen's husband who was not in his right mind due to PTSD. Jillian participated in the "Remember Jen" activities - and she went to every court date to support Ben and his family - even in the face of the disapproval of the Jen's fellow police officers. This story was THE news in the Milwaukee area as Jen was a police officer, murdered on the job, and Jen and Ben had been mentors of a church youth group. Jillian (DD) will want and need me be to be there for her - to get the medical help she needs, to help her deal with the stress of her dad's longterm unemployment and to deal with the anniversary of her friend's death.
In real life, I am a loner and lonely. People seem to like me well enough, don't mind having me around, but don't seek me out or include me. This includes family. I am not active on any Spark Teams at the moment. I feel invisible OL and IRL. I want to write write write - but am afraid I'd be whining, doing the poor me thing, and turn y'all off. It seems like I get more response to race reports than to some of my more emotional blogs. There's that whining, poor me attitude sneaking in. I am a caretaker - but struggle to take care of myself. I know I can sometimes do big, difficult things. I followed a training schedule, gathered resources and successfully, relatively comfortably, with smiles, ran/walked my first marathon fall. I need to apply that confidence, skills and focus to dealing with emotional eating, with feeling. SparkPeople Community, please help me, please direct me to some resources on dealing with emotional eating.