Monday, December 16, 2013
I donīt exactly love my life today and the effect is that I want to snarl and bitch at everybody that talks to me... my weightloss has stopped, canīt find any inspiration and also really fear the coming weeks when food will be everywhere and I would really need some good mood and willpower to get me through...
I havenīt written about the standup-experience, it went well. I tested my material and realised it was not fuynny - my audience did their best to encourage me but I didnīt enjoy it myself so I went home and thought it over.
And I realised that I do not want to be the "stand-up comedian" as it is mostly performed - my idea is that I observe peoples behaviour and then reflect about it in a funny way. So that is what I did - I told a "story" that was making a point that we hillbillies keep strangers away by not telling where places really are - in stead o "1st street nr 34 we say "In the old post office" or something like that that makes it only possible for people that has been around long enough to know where the post office was situated..." the audience was about 18 years old but they could understand my line of joke so it was okay.
The other performers seemed to lean a lot on dirty jokes - I find that rather boring. Nut our coach for the night - an established comedian, well known from teve - was wonderful - he said that we had only one mission - to get up on the stage and speak for three minutes and walk down again - if we managed that we would be winners because there are many people that would never dare to... it was great to get that message.
I was also surpriused over how difficult it really was and how nervous I was - I have bee a public speaker for 16 years, I have performed in front of 1500 people and am not nervous - but this made me almost faint and of course my experience of being on a stage helped me but I also realise that I will have to do this 20-30 times before I will start to feel comfortable.
It is maybe because of that activity that I fewel so uninspired now - I really worked a lot of adrenaline up to manage to do it and afterwards I felt rally empty and starte dto questeion everything - what good is it?
Daughter has been around this weekend and we have been cleaning and discvussiong our christmas together and my sister an us also went to borthers house for the christmas visit.. another inisght struck me, I am the little sister and when we gather I am mostly sort of brushed off and nobody is interested in what I have to say, have not sen that before. My contribution is to be witty turnback on their stories but my stories are not interesting...