Sunday, December 15, 2013
It's just how I feel lately...well, for a long time now.
I don't feel like I turn my husband on. At all. Ever. There was a time he couldn't keep his hands off me. He told me how pretty I was, complimented my makeup or my hair or my outfit, etc. And he did this even after we'd been married for several years. It's just been the past few years he hasn't been telling me anything like this. Basically, I know I've gained nearly 100 pounds since we started dating. I realize this does make me "less attractive." But you know what? He's gained about 80 pounds since we started dating...and I still find him attractive. I think he is sexy as hell. I don't know why he can turn me on even though he's gained so much weight, but I don't do the same for him. And believe me...I know I don't appeal to him like I used to. It's obvious. It is painfully, heartbreakingly obvious. I know he loves me. He tells me and shows me all the time. But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about sex. Even though I know I'm not attractive...he could at least pretend that I am. He never, ever, ever, ever, ever tells me I'm pretty. Even if we get dressed up and go out on a date...I will put on the prettiest outfit I have, fix my hair and makeup, and put forth a real effort. He won't say a word. At this point, I would just about rather have an insincere compliment than no compliment at all.