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    ONEKIDSMOM   107,993
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The season of ambivalence

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Christmas time. Year's end. The last race of the running season. And the last swim lesson. People at work retiring in droves (the boss, three business analysts, a technical analyst...), others applying for and moving into open positions... new kids on the block joining the organization, smart, creative, wonderful young folks who need only a little nudge at "learning the ropes" to become the next wave of successful.

And yep, it's the season of ambivalence. All this change makes me question / re-evaluate what I want from "the rest of my life". Do I really want "more of the same?" Isn't that what another race at a longer distance is?

And what about tradition and memories? Don't I want to experience SOMETHING of the season? What about all those cookies and pies and candy and things I used to make?

See? Ambivalence.

It's time to contemplate: what do I really, really want? Sleep? Maybe. It's also the season of hibernation.

To be continued, as we wend our way toward the new year. Most important thing to remember in all this? To be conscious of decisions.

Because LIFE has to be lived. In the present. And life itself is good. emoticon
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUST_TRI_IT 12/22/2013 9:29AM

    Hmmmmm... Exactly what I keep waking up to.

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SLENDERELLA61 12/16/2013 3:40PM

    Great blog! You have captured something I have stumbled to try to say. Yes, ambivalence. Live life. Make decisions -- conscious decisions. Life is truly good! Thanks for being my SparkFriend and a wonderful member of the Spark community.

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REJ7777 12/15/2013 8:39AM

    "The unexamined life is not worth living" -Socrates

That clearly is not your case! emoticon

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DALID414 12/14/2013 11:53PM


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COCK-ROBIN 12/14/2013 9:36PM

    And it is. Keep on keeping on, you can survive the holidays.

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MOBYCARP 12/14/2013 9:06PM

    Some of the old traditions fade away. I don't think I will ever celebrate New Year's Eve with a bag of potato chips and a container of French onion dip again. Others get toned down. Today I baked a pair of pecan pies, because the recipe works out better for two pies than for one. The pies will go to a church pot luck tomorrow, and if I'm lucky there won't be any left to bring home. If I'm less lucky, it will be working one piece of pie a day into the nutrition until the leftovers are gone.

But there it is. I can only bake when I have an event to haul the pies to, because I don't want to eat 4 or 5 pieces of pie in a single day, in addition to meals. Life is better without doing that kind of thing.

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STRIVERONE 12/14/2013 8:21PM

    May your continuation be even more fulfilling than your beginning.

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BLUENOSE63 12/14/2013 7:30PM


Why don't you go ahead and bake? It is because you might eat it? Personally from your blogs you appear to have the eating habits under control. I agree with other are just resting until Part 2 comes along.

I find that after a big race, I get down as I have worked so long for the goal and when it is done, I feel at ends. Wanna come to my house and wrap Christmas presents?

You have had a great race season but I believe that life is here to be lived and dammit if I want some pie, I am gonna have it.....I just won't eat the whole pie!

I have attained through much struggle and joy what I have always sought in life...PEACE. My life is now peaceful for the most part and I am learning everyday what it means to go with the flow. Yoga has helped me quite a bit in this regard but the routine of swimming, cycling and running keeps me on an even keel as I don't have to do long long distances all the time. I mix it up like baking a pie

Hugs to you my friend


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MSLZZY 12/14/2013 7:10PM

    Yes, and just to be conscious-of life and all it has to offer. HUGS!

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DLDMIL 12/14/2013 5:31PM

    It is the season to hibernate. Thank you for your wonderful blog.

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GABY1948 12/14/2013 3:58PM

    Your last sentence says it all! I have been ambivalent about just about all you list for my whole life. I assumed everyone was ambivalent about such things, but you make me wonder, is it JUST us and possibly a few others? Can't wait for Part 2

Have a blessed weekend, Barb! emoticon emoticon

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HARROWJET 12/14/2013 1:29PM

    I am ready to hibernate. Sounds good to me. emoticon

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LESLIELENORE 12/14/2013 1:02PM

    Sometimes I think we think too much, and this time of year is notorious for that as we look at Christmas and New Year's.

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BUSYGRANNY5 12/14/2013 11:35AM

    Thanks for sharing!!!!

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WATERMELLEN 12/14/2013 10:48AM

    Oh, yeah, this resonates with me today (and pretty certainly is part of my "wearing" blog too, thanks for your comment on that). We cope in different ways at different times and from day to day. I'm constantly running into "retired" colleagues who speak to me of the wonders of full-time leisure but: so far I'm not persuaded. Although here at Spark I meet so many fully engaged post-career people and I do know it's possible!

What do I want for the rest of my life? To remain fully alive. Become more alive. Which for me at least right now probably means continuing the diversity within the sameness. Never the same soup. Never the same salad. Never the same ensemble. Never the same case. That pomo concept of bricolage speaks to me: the assembly of the perpetually new from scavenged familiar pieces put together differently each time.

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THINFITKINDVGAN 12/14/2013 10:02AM

    you'll find your answers.

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LEANJEAN6 12/14/2013 9:05AM

    Oh I love yer log---What do we want eh??--------I think we need to partake in some Xmas goodies----Ariel and Dreadmill would get along--LOL-----Hugs Barb!!!--Keep on keeping on----LYNDA emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/14/2013 8:50AM

  Definitely the season to feel like hibernating. HUGS and thanks for a thought provoking blog.

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