Thursday, December 12, 2013
Although my weigh in went well today (152.6) I feel like total crap. I have had a horrible week and was shocked that my weight changed at all. I am glad it was for the better and not worse though. My husband and I are not getting along. I took Braydon and stayed at my parents for a few days and was reluctant to come home. Things were said I'm not sure I can forgive or forget. I'm worried for myself and my son. Such an unhealthy relationship is not good for our health. None of ours. While I was away my husband did something drastic to himself and I don't think it was a great idea. I've learned from past experience all to well what will happen in the next few days, the next week. I haven't eaten breakfast the past few days so I'm sure my metabolism took a hit. My sleep has been horrible. Even though I went to bed early last night my quality of sleep was horrible. I woke up about 3:40AM and could not get myself back to sleep. I finally drifted off again around 7:30-8AM (hours of laying there tossing and turning). I'm just not in a good mood lately and at the moment I am just in a horrible place. I just want it all to get better....I'm so sick of feeling low and hurt, and looking for love where there is none. I just want to be happy. Happy with myself, my relationship, my life....I just want to be happy.