Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Or maybe non-mindful eating? Whichever it is, it's definitely what I'm doing. I've set myself a pretty simple task of eating just two lunches a week away from my computer, TV, book or any other distractions. And I am doing it, but barely scraping into the achievement box.
The problem is usually that I don't want to stop what I'm doing to eat. I'll either be in the middle of something fun, or I'll be in the full flow of work. I guess it's not helping that I don't really settle down to proper work until 12 so by lunchtime I'm just getting going.
But even if I force myself away from everything and sit down properly with my lunch, my mind is still raring to scoff it down quickly and get back to the computer, which clearly defeats the purpose. At least I do manage to rein in my wandering thoughts every now and again to stop, breathe and focus, before stuffing more in. The ridiculous thing is I love food and I love the act of eating. Maybe I've just spent so many years with 'stimulation' that I feel lost without it.
There was one small, very strange potential breakthrough today though. I was getting so frustrated with it all that I tried to focus on which part I felt most satisfied by. This could be complete rubbish (more testing required), but I think I might get a mini-satisfied rush when I bring my fork to my mouth. I literally mean that - it doesn't have to have anything on it. And it's like the little rush when you look at your phone and see there's a message (come on, I know it's not just me that's got sucked in by that!) It seems completely ridiculous, but I do know that I always need to be doing something with my hands if my mind isn't fully occupied. It's seem bizarre, but it's an avenue I will explore more next time.
Otherwise, I'm really not sure what to try do next!