The Healthy Way to Forgive Yourself
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
I subscribe to the Daily Good and received a wonderful article this morning. www.dailygood.org/story/
Juliana Breines, a doctoral candidate at the University of California, Berkeley, tells us self-forgiveness is critical to well-being” but it can produce “a comforting sense of moral righteousness rather than a motivating sense of moral responsibility” and offers 4 'healthy' ways to forgive ourselves.
“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” - Bruce Lee
1. Don’t get rid of guilt. It’s not the same as shame (i.e., feeling worthless). It’s “feeling bad about one’s behavior and its consequences.”
2. Own up. Acknowledge “both positive and negative aspects of the self.”
3. Pay your dues. “…consider what kinds of reparative behaviors will actually make a difference for others or for your own personal growth” but be gentle with yourself.
4. Foster empathy for the victim. Then “self-forgiveness might be better seen as an act of humility, an honest acknowledgment of our capacity for causing harm as well as our potential for doing good.”
Seems to me this can work even is the victim is ‘us’ on our way to becoming "AWAKE! ALIVE! AWARE! and Appreciative of ALL that IS".