To eat or not to eat, that is the question.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Yes, I'm still dealing with my disordered eating habits. Yes, I'm aware of how little I can eat on a normal day. Yes, I'm trying to change this. Yes, I'm trying to increase my protein. But it's so difficult.
What I've eaten to day:
Breakfast: one egg, 2 slices turkey bacon, a small mixed greens salad with roasted cherry tomatoes and olive oil
Lunch: garden salad (mixed greens, pomegranate, golden raisins, roasted sunflower seeds, peppers, tomatoes, olive oil and balsamic vinegar)
Dinner: some handful of nuts (almonds, peanuts) and an artichoke with a ginger/honey sauce.
And that's it. Shall we count? Breakfast is what, no more than 160 calories, lunch is, oh, I don't know, let's call it 250? Snack is about 75, and dinner is around 150. So... 735 calories for the day. That's nothing! Mentally, I know I should eat more. My stomach is saying it's content - it could eat more and be fine, or could be content. The thing is, it's nearly 1:30 am and I normally fall asleep around this time, so why eat anything? Oh yeah, because I love to eat and based off of my caloric intake, I know that I should. But... it's 1:30 and I have to wake up early (8:15 ish) to make it to the gym, shower, shop for an interview outfit, and get to work on time!
I just don't know what to do. Should I eat more (which would involve cooking, about 20-30 minutes, so I wouldn't be asleep until around 2:30) or just go to bed? I hate this battle.
I know me, I know things I'll have to struggle with for a lifetime, I know this is part of that struggle and the journey. I just have to stick with it. But I'm falling asleep right now, so I suppose that's my body's way of telling me I don't need more food, even though mentally, I know I should (simply because I LOVE to eat! It's all about the real food with the great flavor! I get so excited about new food dishes and new recipes. What can I say, I'm a foodie!)