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    HEALTHYNCGAL   9,906
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Just a Tuesday. Feeling kinda blah.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Today finally ends.

It wasn't a "bad" day, per se. It was just one of those days when I didn't want to get out of bed, much less go out and face the world. And being a teacher, you have to be "on" all the time. You have to smile, socialize, be energetic and fun...all...day...long. I'm a major, major introvert. At the end of the week, I'm absolutely exhausted, emotionally, from it all. It takes an extensive amount of energy to force yourself to smile and act sunshiny all the time. I absolutely love my job, I adore my kids, and I couldn't imagine doing anything else. But it really whips my butt. I also want to clarify that I'm not being "fake." I don't know. It's hard for me to explain right now. I guess I'm just more comfortable being alone, and with the kind of job I have, that is not even a little bit possible. So...it's especially exhausting. I've been feeling depressed and blah lately, too, so when you couple that with being a tired introvert, it just has all caught up to me. But the day itself was fine. After work, I picked up Daughter from her after-school tutoring, and she and I got the last couple things we needed to wrap up our Christmas shopping. (All I needed was to get a few things for our furkids, and Daughter needed to get Husband something. She got him a couple new shirts.) So that's done! I am totally finished with my shopping. Yay! I just need to write out a few Christmas cards. Well, I'm falling asleep here, so I guess it's time for bed. G'night, y'all.
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EDDYMEESE 12/25/2013 1:58PM

    I hate for this to sound the wrong way...but seeing as I see myself in so much of what you write...have you considered seeing a therapist? I have always been quite anti-therapy but started about 6 weeks ago, and I'm loving it. It isn't that it's made me suddenly think I'm amazing, or made me more social or confident, or stopped me from wanting to just stay at home all of the time...but it's helping me to rationalize, have an internal conversation, temper my reaction to certain situations and overall just begin to accept that I am ME and there is nothing wrong with that.

You became a teacher for a reason. You aren't being fake at work, you're being a good teacher. There is nothing wrong with being one way at work and another way in your personal life. At work, I smile and joke and am energetic and social...outside of work I'd rather be at home reading a book. My husband is extremely outgoing and that has caused some issues in the past. I think we're slowly starting to meet in the middle. The point is, you assume that because you are one way at work and another way at home, that there is something wrong with you. Do you think that every person you meet at work who is happy and bubbly at school and at any social events, that they don't go home and shut themselves in and curl up with a good book? Do you think that they don't have the same thoughts as you? We are all more alike than we know. Be kind to yourself.

Comment edited on: 12/25/2013 1:58:47 PM

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