Monday, December 09, 2013
My story..now that it is a loaded question. I recently have been asking myself that. For so long I have been a wife & mother that has struggled with my weight since having children. All through high school I was a trim 120 pounds, wearing a size 7 but always struggled with self-confidence. I believe it stems from having my older half-sister moving in with us when I was around 9 years old. That is when I had to fight for attention from my dad. She was always the perfect one. She was super skinny, popular and just perfect in my dad’s eyes. I was constantly being compared to her so I did not think I measured up because I was much shorter and have hips and curves. So I would never be a “stick.” Then I had my two boys and gained weight with each pregnancy which just added fuel to my insecurities about my weight and shape. I was so depressed about what I let happen to my body that I did not try to lose the weight and ended up gaining more weight.
I starting taking some diet pills and really did get into great shape with it. I got down to 130 pounds and was wearing a size 5. Finally my dad was giving me some positive praise and I really felt like a million bucks! My dad for the first time in my life called me beautiful. I truly felt like I won the lottery. I let life get in the way and I gained the weight back. I finally figured out my “plan” does not have to be perfect in order to work. Do what I like and the rest will happen.
Once I figured that out it was completely freeing and liberating. I do not feel stressed out. I feel like I am on top of the world. I used to be over-whelmed and like a total failure. I know I could have prevented the weight gain but that really is not the point. It happened and now I just have to get back on track and make positive changes every day.
I know I did things write to lose the weight in the first place and that is what I will focus on. If I can do it once then I can do it again. However this time I will not be hard on myself when things do not go exactly as planned instead I will turn it into a learning opportunity. Live and learn, right?!