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Monday, December 09, 2013

Earlier this evening, I decided to go ahead and send out a group text to the friend's I'd invited to our Christmas party.

I'd like to pause and say a special thank you to all the folks who took a moment to lend some advice and/or support: SDLOV3R, SENNAIRA, GRANNY2B2, and MYLIBERTY.

So I sent my message, and it went something like this: "Hey, friends! Just wanted to touch base about the party this Saturday. I hope you can all still make it. Please let me know what you plan to bring, so that I can get start preparing things on my end. We can't wait to see you!"

I started getting replies right away. One friend is bringing a pumpkin pie. Another friend is making some kind of appetizer...she and I then started talking about appetizers and salads and it just got really fun! There are a couple of people I'm still waiting to hear back from, but overall, I feel very pleased that I went ahead and sent a message. I'm so paranoid about certain things, and lately, my head has just been in a bad place. As I was explaining things to Husband earlier, sometimes I just like myself so little, that I think others feel the same way. Sometimes I forget that I really do have friends, and that they really do like me....and that any misgivings I have about that sort of thing are MY issues...not theirs.

So I'm having a Christmas Party on Saturday night!!! And I don't think I could be more excited about it!! I haven't had a party in a very long time, much less a holiday party. The last holiday party I had was a couple of years ago, when I had a bunch of friends over for Thanksgiving Dinner...I'm no longer friends with any of these people. We did have a great time, but I guess I'm still feeling raw, at times, from the betrayal and abandonment and rejection of all those people.

During the month of November, I posted something I was grateful for, every single day, on Facebook. I feel like I still need to do that. It is helpful to shift my mind from things that drag me down to things that lift me up.

Today I am grateful for the fact that even though we got together later than we'd meant to, and didn't get to talk as long as we would have liked, I'm happy that my sister-in-law and I still got to have our meeting. I'm grateful for the kindness of strangers. I'm grateful for the friends that I do have. I'm grateful that I feel better than I did earlier in the day. I'm also grateful for my new Keurig coffee/tea maker that I LOVE!! and for a husband who just bought me two boxes of K-cups! Decaf Donut Shop and Sleepytime Tea :)
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