I am now in my 95th week of maintenance. That's 665 days since I reached my goal weight. It hasn't been all easy, in fact I would say much harder than losing weight. Just like anything else in life there have been ups and downs, 665 days of them.
When I first entered into maintenance I got so scared of gaining the weight back that not only did I not increase calorie intake, but I actually decreased it and increased exercise. I got dangerously close to having a full blown eating disorder, I thought I just entered the best time of my life, the truth is it was the hardest. For the first 6 months of maintenance I spent every second of my days obsessing over not gaining, and trying to lose as much as possible. My husband, mother and doctor finally intervened and I had to disconnect from weight loss, and sparkpeople.
The next few months were hard. I had to force myself to eat, I wasn't ready to cut back on exercise so I really had to increase my calories. It was awful, that sounds so crazy. I gained weight back, every pound I saw added on made me sick, I cried a lot during this time.
Then I gave up a little. I spent the last few months of 2012 in a major funk. I wasn't working out as much as I normally would have, I was eating horribly and the truth it I was just DONE! I think more than anything I was tired. Even though this lead to some weight gain I didn't want it was just what I needed.
Since the beginning of 2013 I have been giving in my all to just "be". The idea of maintenance for me is to not continually obsess. I starting counting my calories again, which for me just works. I don't obsess about the calories, I don't hate myself if I eat to much I just move on. I allow myself treats, which I have realized helps me not feel the need to overindulge.
I workout like a beast, but that has become my new normal. I rarely have to force myself to workout anymore, I mean there are those days but not very often. I have made this a lifestyle. Food, weight loss and exercise are a part of my life, just no longer MY ENTIRE LIFE. I am no longer fully consumed by calories, the number on my scale and most importantly I don't feel constant guilt. It's funny that it has taken so long to fill comfortable again. I am sure I have a long way to go still but for now I feel at peace with myself.
(Halloween 2013, I fell like a Super Hero sometimes!)