Friday, December 06, 2013
I'm currently working with another person on a workbook concerning healing past trauma. A lot of difficult feelings are coming up. I'm feeling more and more tempted to just shut down and sleep for the rest of my life. And eat junk.
But I'm not doing that. I'm taking this one drink of water, one snack, one meal, one workout, one day at a time.
I'm reminding myself, "Food is not the cure-all for difficult feelings, tiredness, boredom, loneliness, celebrations, or anything else. It is fuel for my body as I get healthier and healthier."
Also--why am I doing this? The food and water disciplines . . . the exercise disciplines . . . the workouts . . . ? I'm doing this because the alternative (sleeping way too much, eating junk almost all the time, isolating, and generally shutting down from life) is no longer an option. Those actions are the way to a slow, uncomfortable, burdensome death.
The feelings will pass, but they're not passing yet. Until they do, I will take this journey (as I said) one drink of water at a time, one snack at a time, one meal at a time, one workout at a time, and one day at a time.
Not only is it "I will do this," but it's "I am doing this." Period.