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Goodbye, Carey

Friday, December 06, 2013

My stepfather died yesterday evening. We had a house full of people when my sister called, and I just sort of fell to the floor. Everyone was wonderful and kind and stuck around to see it they could help, but of course there is nothing to be done, really.

Mom doesn't want anyone to come to Montana at this time. There will not be a funeral. Instead, she wants us to come next summer and have a memorial for him that is a picnic and family gathering. It's what he wanted.

My sister said that she had left Mom at dialysis and gone up to see Carey, and that even though his stats weren't changed, she could suddenly tell that something was wrong. She rushed back to get Mom from dialysis, and they got back to the hospital just 15 minutes before he died.

I'm feeling sad and in shock and kind of ... not numb, but like the world is all being muffled through cotton wadding. Like I can't quite move forward. I have a huge amount of work I need to get through in the next two days, but I can't really get myself started on anything.

I am glad that I got the Christmas lights up outside yesterday before all this happened. I can't imagine trying to do it today.
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