Thursday, December 05, 2013
Kind of had a mini panic attack last night/this morning. I took a pregnancy test this morning, and it came up negative, so I started Provera today to get this cycle going and start Clomid. I'm just so scared that Clomid won't work, and nothing will work. Yes, I realize I'm overreacting for no reason but I'm so scared this will never work for us. I've been running consistently for quite a few weeks and the scale has gone up a little, and I've been keeping my eating in check by lowering portion sizes and choosing healthier alternatives. I know it's harder for women with PCOS to lose weight but this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to go buy insane amounts of quinoa to eat rather than pasta/bread and I'm going to bump up on the veggies even more.
In other non-fitness news: I only have 3 weeks left at my job. I've been miserable for so long, and I think that has partially contributed to my unhealthiness. The biggest issue now is MONEY (can't find it on any trees yet down here, but if I run across it I'll post it!) My husband works two part time jobs (about 60 hours a week) and barely scrapes by. I applied to ten different jobs this morning ranging from administrative assistants at hospitals, nursing homes, and businesses to retail. I had a job guaranteed to me before I decided to leave my current position, but it fell through about a week ago. I have been cutting back on bills (cancelling everything not necessary to our existence) and we still cannot afford our current bills, let alone groceries and everything else. His mother and grandmother bought us some food for the next couple weeks which is awesome and I'm so thankful. I just feel like such a failure. Christmas is coming up and I can't afford gifts for pretty much anyone. My family never had money issues so for me to have gotten like this I feel stupid, reckless, lazy, and that's not me. I just feel like I'm falling apart. I have slacked a little on my running in the past week-ish, but my friend has kept me in line. Besides, running is free!
Speaking of my best friend, I am so proud of her! She sent me a 7 day progress pic of herself today and she looks terrific! I can definitely see new ab definition. She's been running with me 3-4 times a week for almost two months and doing some squat, leg lift, pushup, and plank challenge for a week. Her picture is below!
Hope everyone has a great day!