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To my friend.


Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Sad times of recent date. I went to see you about 2 weeks ago today. Feeling bad that we had lost touch after I moved. Your sister posted on Facebook encouraging visitors and you address in the nursing home. People younger than me are not supposed to be in nursing homes. Should not happen. I wondered breafly about why you were there. But the thoughts of why quickly left in favor of plans of the errands I needed to run and where I thought the address was.

I am so grateful I did not take time to worry about if you were too sick to see me or the fact that somehow we never did get together after I moved a few more miles away. I was busy raising kids and you were busy raising kids and working. I saw you a couple of times here and there.

I walked into the room. Your aunt was there. You were in bed. You looked so much worse than I could have imagined. We talked for a long time. I enjoyed the visit. You asked me several times if I really did not know what had happened. Mom and Dad neglected to tell me. I cried and went to talk to another friend for comfort at the end of that visit. I promised myself that I would call you every week. Got your cell number and everything. You said you would like that. I figured it was the least I could do. You were back in the ICU in just a few days. My fear was coming true. I was not sure how you were going to heal from all of this. I was worried about your kids, your family and you. I believe in miracles, I was hoping for a miracle. The story did not end that way.

I know that you are now well. I can hear you laughing and know that it is OK for me to be sad for a time. I will miss our conversations from yesteryear. I am grateful for our friendship. I am grateful for the your frequent visits and all that we shared. I am sorry we lost touch but grateful for that last visit.

There is a haunting thought from that last visit. You could not choose. Your body was shutting down. Past the point that diet and exercising could help. I keep hearing in my head "Mom why did you just take care of yourself?" I am a diabetic. Diet and exercise could help me. I know you would have given anything to be in my place. It is time for me to make the most of it.

I want to honor you. So I am giving myself a one hundred day challenge.

For 100 days I will:
1. Spend time with my journal, my scriptures and in prayer.
2. Spend time organizing/cleaning my home daily.
3. Eat low carb, low fat like Southbeach.
4. Check my bloodsugar daily and take my medicine.
5. Eat mindfully.

I promise I will be kind to myself and committed to these goals.

Love you, miss you, glad I could visit you one last time. You were always the kind of friend that we picked up where ever we had left off, it was great. Enjoy the rest of your journey my friend until we meet again.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
STINAMARIE86 12/16/2013 11:05AM

    emoticon So sorry for your loss!

emoticon ways to honor your friend!

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NOTGIVINGUP49 12/10/2013 11:37PM

    Loss is so hard, but she was blessed to see you one last time. emoticon

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 12/10/2013 11:03PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WHYNOTJ1 12/4/2013 3:32PM

    So hard to lose a friend. Maybe you can dedicate your fitness efforts to her memory.

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MNABOY 12/4/2013 1:34PM

    We all work through grief personally. You can accomplish your goals.

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TRAVELGRRL 12/4/2013 9:22AM

    Sometimes we need a wake-up call -- a wake up earthquake? My sister in law recently passed away -- she was 51, eight years younger than me. It shook me to my core. The message was quite clear: take care of yourself or else. You can only abuse your health for so long before you pay the piper.

That being said, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. She would be proud to know she helped to alter your course. emoticon

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FITFRIT 12/4/2013 7:28AM

    Oh sweetheart, I am SO so sorry for your loss. If there is anything I can do to help you with your challenge, just ask.

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NANCY- 12/4/2013 7:20AM

    You are so right we do have the option to stave off complications. It is amazing how a bit of exercise impacts our blood glucose levels.
What a lovely way to honor your friend and honor yourself.


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SQUIRRELMOMMA1 12/4/2013 7:04AM

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SUCCESSN2014 12/4/2013 3:14AM

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DJ4HEALTH 12/4/2013 1:53AM

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LOSE4LIFE47 12/4/2013 1:49AM

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