Tuesday, December 03, 2013
I was scheduled to have my colonoscopy on Wednesday, but I messed up.
I was supposed to refrain from aspirin for seven days. Oops.
I was supposed to be taking a prescription for the last four weeks. I completely forgot about it until this evening.
I will just have to reschedule. Because I am becoming forgetful.
But you know what they say:
There are three symptoms to aging. The first is memory loss. And I forgot the other two.
Ladies, I have a request on behalf of all the men out there in the world. If you want something ask for it directly.
Tonight I was asked, "Do you want to take the garbage out?"
This is what we call a "False Choice." The obvious answer is, "No, that's OK, you can do it."
But that gets me into trouble every time. This is not new. It's always been thus. And I know the She(WMBO) is not the only woman to engage in this sort of verbal trickery. But wouldn't it be better to simply say, "Take out the garbage."? That would be totally unambiguous.
And while I have your attention, ladies, sometimes we men will leave things where we can find them later. We do this on purpose. A pair of gloves on the dining room table, for example, is there because now I know where they are. They are put away. In plain sight.
It happened yesterday. I had left the cat carrier and dog leashes out in the dry kitchen while we were gone. I knew exactly where they were. When I went for them, they were not there. She(WMBO) was out having her nails done. So I called anyway.
"Where is the cat carrier and leashes? I have to get the animals from the Kennel."
"I put them away."
"Where they belong. Away."
Heavy sigh ... "If you put something 'away' and you don't tell me where you put it, I call that 'hiding it'. So where is 'away'?"
"I don't know. Just where it belongs."
Ah-ha, She doesn't know where she put it. That's called ...
"If you don't know where you put it, you lost it."
"Sorry. Did you check the attic?"
Why in God's name would I look in the attic? That's not away. That's hidden.
For the record, she hid, or lost, the stuff in the garage, which makes as much sense as the attic.
But as Holmes said, “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
Ladies, don't hide our stuff. Sometimes away does not mean out of sight.