Monday, December 02, 2013
Today, as an evening treat, I ordered a hot chocolate with marshmallows. I knew it was decadent, but I also knew I had that I would still be within my calorie range, even with this little indulgence. I hadn't had real hot chocolate for ages, and I really wanted one.
The hot chocolate arrived and I popped the two marshmallows on top, leaving them to melt a little bit before taking my first sip. As I was putting the cup down after savouring my first sip, I noticed that there were two more marshmallows that I hadn't seen before and I was filled with such joy!! Two extra marshmallows - what a delight!!
Now, the reason I'm writing this is because I was so surprised at the absolute delight I was feeling from this little sugar indulgence and I realised it needed a bit of analysis. Why the surprise?
Then I realised that for so many years when I ate sugary treats, instead of joy, I felt guilt. Sometimes I'd feel guilty because I knew it would make me fat, and it reminded me of my unhappiness at being overweight; sometimes because I'd already been bingeing on too much chocolate, and this was just more of the same.
I'm not entirely sure I ever fully enjoyed the sweet treats. There were too many other negative emotions to contend with.
So, what I think I experienced today was a healthy reaction to a sweet treat.
It's a good feeling. It makes me want to have more reactions like that and keep the sweet things I eat as occasional treats - just to have that feeling again! Perhaps my emotions are starting to catch up with my weight loss. It's taken them two years, but hey, this gives me a new reason to keep up with maintaining.