PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER
Saturday, November 30, 2013
THIS IS PRICELESS: ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT
BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT
Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir: I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still
cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone
number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (25 years ago),
and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on
what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of
My birth date you have in my social security file. It’s on EVERY income tax
form I've filed for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance
card and my driver's license, it's on the last eight damn passports I've
had, it's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out
before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all
those census forms that we have to do at election times. Would somebody
please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my
father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is
likely to change between now and when I die.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bulls*^*t! You
send the application to my house, then you ask me for my #*%*& address.
What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons
working there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And
"No," I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for s%$#t sakes. I just want to
go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why
would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe
you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and
get another #*@^@*@& copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.
Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I
could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning
and organization. And it would be too logical for the @&^*^%@% government.
You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads
cut off. Then, we have to find some a$$hole to confirm that it's really me
in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile...
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture
is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776.
I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had
security clearances up the ying yang. However, I have to get someone
important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor.... WHO WAS
BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA! And you a$$holes want to run our health care