Friday, November 29, 2013
Today I am thankful for my family. This year Thanksgiving was out of the norm. There have never been so few people at dinner before. My uncle's family went out of town to celebrate, so right there we lacked 8 people. My mom chose to spend the holiday with her "drunkies" as I call them- her women's A.A. meeting had a special celebration, so it was nice for her to celebrate among her sober sistren. My cousin from Santa Barbara was unable to attend and my other cousin showed up for about 30 mins before he had to leave. Which actually was kind of nice. We chose to be informal (I grudgingly put on pants for the occasion) and we sat around and joked and laughed and ate and watched football and had a nice time.
The best part for me was being genuinely happy while with them. I've mentioned before that this depression has robbed me of my ability to feel other emotions (besides some anger, frustration, and always present is sadness). Things like happiness and joy were just no longer emotions that I seemed to have. Once in a while I'd have a quick burst of something- laughter with real joy behind it, but always it was fleeting. Tonight I laughed the whole night and enjoyed everyone's company. It felt normal and wonderful to be able to truly feel, even if it is just for the night. I am very thankful for that, too.
Throwback Thanksgiving. This was in 1990, which put me at 7 years old. Can you guess which one is me? [Hint: I'm blonde.]