Since the Dirty Girl in September, I've be pretty down... I haven't had anything to look forward to or train for... I've gained a few too many pounds, and I'm starting to feel it and I definitely think it shows. You know, saying that out loud is pretty freeing. It's so hard to admit when things haven't been going well, it's like I'm letting EVERYONE down, not just myself. Amidst the crappy feeling, both physically and mentally, I truly am thankful for sooo much.
I am obviously thankful for my weight loss and my new life as a result of that. Like I said I have a few too many pounds to get rid of until I'm "back on track" but I'm truly happy for what I've done.
I'm beyond thankful that I've I've been able to get my family and friends to get healthy.
My BFF of 20 years (MADTHENURSE)
She's been with me for the last 2 years on this journey, and I hope she continues to make changes in her life.
My husband's brother and his wife
They went on a 2 mile walk with me when we went to visit them in July, and since then, they've kept on walking!
My brother and his wife (MADDIESMOM102)
Chad said he's interested in starting up again, and I've been posting all that Lisa and I've been doing. Today she finished her FIRST TURKEY TROT!!! I'm SOOOO proud of her!
This is the same group I've been TT'ing with for the last 3 years!
I'm thankful that my kids have a happy, healthy mom to run around with, and I'm thankful that I'm able to participate in activities that they want to be a part of. And I'm thankful that I can walk into their classroom, go to an after school activity, and attend parties with them, and no longer be embarrassed about being the "fat mom."
TBL 5k that they did with me this summer
Their last Cross Country Race of the season
After a 1 mile run, at their request!!!
I'm Thankful for my husband, who's been with me through all of this. The frustration and tears, and more importantly, the joy of hitting those milestones. He's told me "no" when I wanted pizza at 9pm because he knows I'd regret it, and he's bought me new workout clothes to celebrate a PR. He loved and married me at close to 300 pounds and I know he loves me even more now!
This is hard, and frustrating, and to be honest, sometimes, it's really easy to forget WHY I'm doing this. It's even harder when you feel like you're on your own, and a lot of times, it feels like I'm alone. SP friends disappear and even family and "real" friends lose their enthusiasm. Hell, sometimes, NO one can figure out why I'm still doing this.... not even me. I wonder why I'm fighting to lose the last 20lbs... I've even been asked that exact question. "You've lost so much, you look good, you're happy, why does it matter." Why DOES it matter??? That's why I have to think about the things I'm thankful for, and remember what I'll lose if I don't finish what I started... It's when I remember that I can't rely on anyone else... that I have to do this for me. I have to be my own super hero!
If I hadn't changed my life 3 1/2 years ago, I wouldn't be who I am today. The life my kids have wouldn't be the same, and I know my husband's happier. Happy wife, happy life, right?!? I'm pretty sure he'd agree, lol! So even though things aren't great right now, I know they can be and I know how to get there. I thought I'd be done with this weight loss thing in 2 years... people have lost 200 pounds in 2 years... well, that's not me and it doesn't matter. This is my life, and I'm living it! And I'm SOOO thankful for every minute!
I can't tell you how true this is!