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    ONEKIDSMOM   177,958
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Appreciating hostesses

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Turns out the topic list landed on an appropriate day, even though it has roots in my recent trip. Many folks are either being the host/hostess or a guest for the holiday: "Appreciating hostesses who recognize you have special needs, and being brave about asking for the kind of support you need! "

When I was a kid, I was one of those sensitive compliant types who never asked for what she needed, instead eavesdropping on the concerns of those around me, and putting their needs first. When I overheard my mom complain about the budget and all the things my big sister needed, I didn't bother to say my underwear needed replacing. Seriously. As a child.

Putting the needs of others ahead, being compassionate and giving is a good thing, but face it, there is a responsibility to help ensure we will be around for others. It is our responsibility to let folks know our needs. My in-town family has got really good about supporting one another in this. My trip was to be with a cousin I hadn't stayed with since we were both children, though.

Last year I had gone to lunch with my cousin and her daughter on race day. They we pre-exposed, and knew that I am pretty careful when eating out. Throughout the year, my cousin would post yummy looking recipes on FB that are totally inappropriate for "everyday" for me, and I had to ask myself whether I'd be "safe" eating at her house. I should not have worried... she and I talked about my dietary needs, and concluded a grocery trip was in order. I simply said, "I'll get what I normally feed myself, and you're welcome to share".

The hostesses hooked me up with shampoo and toothpaste since I packed in a hurry and avoided anything I'd have to hassle with at the airport. They even found me a pair of shorts since I failed to plan for more than one running day!

The cook of the house let me read labels, proposing what she was going to cook, and asking whether it would fit my needs. And as long as I watched my portion sizes, it did. My hosts indulged me and shared in breakfast I prepared a couple of mornings, and I also shared my mid-morning snack on Expo day (walnuts and dried apricot halves) with my running partner. Amazing, amazing, selfless women in that home. Kind of like... the rest of the family.

Back in the days when I never spoke up, who knew the support would be there? If you don't make your needs known, the kind people who want nothing more than to support you won't be able to offer that support!

So this is a pitch to those of us timid souls who "don't want to be a bother" that you never know until you ask. And... you have no idea when you might spark someone else to a healthier choice.

For those who ARE hosting? Make sure your own needs are met today, too. Because YOU are priceless, and well worth it. Treat yourself like a guest, too!

Happy Thanksgiving to all... a grateful heart feels soooo good! emoticon emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KALEWINE 12/1/2013 4:26PM

    It's nice to know that people are willing to help you out. :)

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STRONGDAWG 11/29/2013 9:34PM

    I am so glad your trip worked out for you and your dietary needs were met. It's easy for me when I am at my sister's house. My FIL, well, it's a disaster and we feel miserable most of the time we are there.

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SLENDERELLA61 11/29/2013 10:28AM

    Treat yourself like a guest! What wise words. Next time I'll do that!! Love your gratitude and how you are a role model for your relatives. May influence them. Time will tell! I try, too. Don't always succeed,, but it's good.

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JUST_TRI_IT 11/29/2013 8:50AM

    That was nice of hr to be respectful :-)

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SBFT84 11/29/2013 3:26AM

    Thanks for the reminder! I always feel happy when I can help someone out, but I rarely think anyone would feel the same joy helping me ! I really can be so dense, so thanks for the reminder. Happy visit.

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DLDMIL 11/29/2013 12:13AM

    Great reminder that we need to speak up. Happy Thanksgiving.

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GABY1948 11/28/2013 9:01PM

    Oh My WORD! Do the similarities never stop? We definitely were cut out of the same mold! I wonder if we could have been "separated at birth? Only 4 years apart? Interesting thought.

Barb, I pray you had the most wonderful Thanksgiving ever! Keep on with these amazing blogs!


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ROXYZMOM 11/28/2013 8:01PM

    Very nice!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

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DALID414 11/28/2013 12:57PM

    Happy healthy Thanksgiving Day to you and your loved ones Barb

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LESLIELENORE 11/28/2013 12:33PM

    A different perspective. Happy Thanksgivng!

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ALOHAEV1 11/28/2013 10:14AM

    Wonderful food for thought, Happy Thanksgiving!

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MSLZZY 11/28/2013 9:53AM

    Today I am not the hostess but I will be serving others at the café, as a commitment to helping others have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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HARROWJET 11/28/2013 9:23AM

    I think most hosts want to have available what the guest needs and wants. Most want their guest to be comfortable. As with everything, there are exceptions. I recently read comments from a hostess who had a very demanding guest stay in her home. The guest was making the hostess very unhappy. She was relieved when the guest finally left. Most of us do not want to be in that situation. It is nice that you were able to express your needs and you were satisfied with the results.

Happy Thanksgiving! emoticon

Judy emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/28/2013 8:28AM

    Wise, wise words. So often all it takes is just a little bit of communicating and our needs and maybe even someone else's are met!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! HUGS

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NEW-CAZ 11/28/2013 7:58AM

    emoticon Happy Thanksgiving! emoticon

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BROOKLYN_BORN 11/28/2013 7:54AM

    I agree completely. I was asked to bring a dish appropriate for the Vegan guests who will be attending tonight's dinner. No problem at all. If someone hadn't spoken up ahead of time, a few people would have had a Spartan dinner.

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COCK-ROBIN 11/28/2013 7:44AM

    Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. emoticon

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KASEYCOFF 11/28/2013 7:25AM

    I'm currently staying with cousins, and sometimes wonder if I'm a Ben-Franklin visitor but they're too kind to tell me.

I hope I'm as good a guest as you are, Barb!
p.s. I plan to pass this blog along to my hostess, too.

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WATERMELLEN 11/28/2013 7:18AM

    A very timely reminder -- today (for our American friends) and throughout the holiday season, but simply in general. Most people genuinely want to meet our needs, and we don't have to assume such needs are burdensome. How many of us eat too much because we feel socially pressured to do so, when in fact that social pressure would disappear with the kind of strategies you describe?

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JSTETSER 11/28/2013 7:06AM

    Thank you!

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