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    SAPHRAEL   54,641
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Never Enough

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I incorporated these little fast break goals into my routine. And for the most part, I stick with them. But I have this nagging feeling that it's not enough. 30 minutes of mindless pedaling is nothing when I could really be sweating it out for 60. And what's the point of that healthy breakfast when you trash the rest of your food budget with junkfood after dinner? Reading success stories does little to help. It's just a painful reminder of what I seem unable to do.

I dread the holidays. I try to find joy in the little things, but my head is cluttered and I'm stressed over Christmas and gift giving. I don't know why I'm in a hurry to get back to doing nothing, but I am. My quiet life is comforting, even though I'm restless and not comfortable at all with the passing of time, because that's all it really is. Ugh! What a hollow existence!

I'm utterly surprised when someone cheers me on and says how well I'm doing. Are you kidding? I'm a going- no-where, miserable wreck! I don't wish to be. I have aspirations, but they too seem hollow. I want to lose weight to regain confidence. I want to excel in my career, though I don't know what that next step should be. I have other dreams, but I'm afraid to formulate a plan to go get them. What is wrong with me?! *shrug* Something for further contemplation later.

Okay, pity party adjourned! Sorry for the big stinker amidst all the holiday cheer.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKINNYSTRUMMER 11/28/2013 9:20AM

    If the pity party is truly adjourned, try celebrating those small accomplishments today! They will add up,h over time, to success!

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JMARIES51 11/27/2013 11:57PM

    I hit the I like this blog -- not because I like that you feel this way, but because I totally relate. Holidays are very stressful for me, not because I do anything to really celebrate them in a big way, but because I really don't want to celebrate them at all. I feel all the pressure from the TV commercials, and from the way it used to be when I was young and my parents were alive. But inside I just want to crawl into bed and wake up around about Feb 15th when all the craziness is over.
And the part about knowing that you could be pushing yourself more in workouts and in other areas of your life... that is me. It is like I just do enough to glide by. It is never the amount that I would like to be getting done. --- ok, so enough of this...
Now it is time to focus on the good stuff. 30 minutes is far better than nothing. Eating healthy at breakfast is a really good way to start the day. And fast break goals are better than no goals.
So I am still going to say you are doing good. Just think about this, at least you are thinking about the changes you would like to make. Isn't that better than completely hiding away? I can do that for months at a time also, so a little is better than nothing at all. I'm just saying. emoticon

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CARRIELYNNG 11/27/2013 10:54PM

    Keep focus on what you want, you will get there. The point of the healthy breakfast is to fuel your body and mind, the real question is what is the point of the after dinner binge? What are you getting out of it, and can you get it in a healthy way. Good luck.

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