Wednesday, November 27, 2013
I cannot help myself---I keep thinking about what my doctor said about the possibility of my back simply breaking at some random time. I was so scared of the proposed surgery, but I cannot even garner much in the way of thoughts and feelings about that when I keep thinking that I could be doing anything and my back might simply break. I'm thinking it would be best to be proactive and have them do it medically rather than letting nature do it at some time to be announced while I could be at work, in the pool, at church, taking a shower, sleeping, even eating. I am a nervous wreck with this important knowledge. I think it is easy to understand why I hadn't been told earlier. I just want to know what is best for me.
I understnad the dangers in any surgery that requires you to be on your stomach and under anesthesia for more than a couple of hours. You can lose memory or you can be come blind--or of course, you can die. I am sure that the act of taking the vertebrae in your back apart and reassembling them is dangerous and that the time it takes to build a "little cage around your spine" to keep it in place is more than a few moments.
I need to go finish shopping for Thanksgiving in a few minutes and I will play games on my phone to try and just keep my brain off these topics. I need to think about all of this at some point, but it isn't now. I am not liking it seeping into my thoughts right now. I sure wish that they would have given me all of the information when I asked instead of putting me off.
OK--my husband is ready to go, time for my happy face and my phone. Live on Candy Crush...
PS Happy Thanksgiving from our house to yours. Having another daughter is a wonderful thing and I am so glad that she and my son are making this official. I know there's a date now--so the race is on for them!!